24/05/2025
To the young girls out there listen. I know how tempting it is to ignore advice from elders. Late-night sneak-outs, the excitement of ‘kilig’ moments, chocolates, flowers, public displays of affection, dreamy proposals… it all feels magical. But remember, that’s just the beginning.
After marriage, many ask, ‘Why did everything change?’ The answer is simple: because marriage is not a fairytale. It’s a reality you have to build, day by day. You are now responsible for a home for a life you and your partner must create together.
You can’t stay in bed all day scrolling your phone, dancing on TikTok, or chasing Instagram-worthy moments. Sure, you can still do those things but only when your real responsibilities are done. Because if you don’t work together, you’ll end the day tired, hungry, and frustrated.
It’s easy to break down when one of you wasn’t prepared mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Marriage isn’t about the wedding. It’s about embracing the change that comes after and facing it with courage and commitment.
Don’t settle down if your mind is still stuck in dating or shopping mode. In our bukid, we say: ‘Ayaw pag-menyo kun di paka kamao mang lampas, ky pasmo inyong bitok’ don’t marry if you don’t even know how to scrape coconut meat, or else you’ll end up with a hurting belly. And honestly, it hits even harder today.
So please listen to your elders. We’ve been through the storms you’re walking into. Take time to reflect, to build yourself first. Life won’t always hand you sweet moments. Sometimes it gives you tangerines and when it does, you’ll look back and realize how important those simple, wise words really were.
Sharing this because my heart feels heavy reading so many stories lately stories of broken marriages, silent suffering, and people feeling lost in what should’ve been their safe space. Luoy kaayo.
Marriage is no joke. It’s not just about the wedding, the gifts, or the ‘kilig’ moments. It’s about building something real something strong enough to stand the storms.
To those struggling, I see you. I may not know your full story, but I’m praying for your healing. I’m praying for strength, clarity, and peace.
And to those still waiting or preparing: take your time. Build yourself first. Listen. Pray. Choose wisely. And remember — love is not just a feeling. It’s a daily choice, a commitment, a journey. 🙏🙏❤️
-Apong Norma
