02/07/2024
I will share some more eagle photos here .
I also wanted to share a litttle about how I started taking photos of eagles about ten years ago.
I had already been in the deep throes of extreme anxiety ptsd and post traumatic grief syndrome .
It was so extreme and I won’t go into details as to how I got there but I was there.
I had developed extreme agoraphobia and was in a very bad state .
It was sept 13 2013 when things went from bad to worse .
I existed in a state of non stop anxiety and ptsd I tried everything . Thousands of dollars spent out of pocket with no job and no possible way of working , only to find each visit to a doctor counselling or anything would make it worse . Medication didn’t do anything but make it worse , wish I was a person it worked for but I wasn’t .
I fought hard really hard . I improved a bit and eventually by the summer of 2015 I made it back to the point where I could ride the bus and leave the house again .
It was august the thirteenth that I was out of the house . I was on my way to my usual destination that day in the afternoon to my band practice . Yes I do music as well .
The bus rounded the corner and there were police everywhere and I saw yellow tape and tons of police cars ambulances and fire engines .
When I arrived at my band mates place I asked what happened.
He replied some crazy guy had been killed . I thought to myself that it just sounded wrong . As it turned out the young man killed was in the middle of a mental health crisis and was killed by police during the altercation.
For a long time I lived with the fear that because of what I was going through at a time it could possibly happen to me .
This should never be a fear of a human being .
My days slowed to a crawl and I went backwards again . I fought hard to get to the point where I could leave the house . I started to learn about photography and took photos of everything I could .
I would spend hours a day well more than just hours entire days in the library editing and sorting images . I was still in rough shape and no method of getting help worked . In fact the services available were completely ridiculous and inadequate. Money was long gone for any paid treatment as well .
Usually that would involve being offered group therapy with people suffering from drug addiction.
I am not a substance user nor abuser , I have great compassion and understanding of the pain people can suffer believe me the temptation of being pain free is a real thing and I am thankful that I never went down that road.
However I’m not going to sit in a group chat with people talking about the details of my pain and where it came from .
I’m a very private person.
One day two eagles landed outside my house and just a few meters aways . Something inside my heart said chase them .
I did and now have documented them for almost a decade using at first mostly cast off second hand store equipment and slowly trading up to better equipment.
How does it tie into the same events of Aug 13 2015 I cannot explain it fully maybe because my story and Justice for Myles Gray family isn’t over yet.
However I want people to change thier ideas about who a person is and what they look like does not matter what their facing often is something that you can never know .
People with anxiety depression and ptsd aren’t all ticking time bombs somehow granted super powers when in the middle of a breakdown .
When you see that guy in a chair at a library slumped over his iPad for hours and not moving much more than his thumbs you don’t know thier story.
I’ve been there and I’ve been that guy .
I have never asked for anything for the photos I’ve shared online I’ve never made money from them . Same with my music and other stuff .
The only thing I ask for is people to change .
So remember that there’s a family out there who has been denied justice and answers for the death of their son .
Myles Gray died unarmed in the middle of a mental health emergency crisis .
Things need to change .
And thank you for reading all this .
Here are a few more of my eagle shots as a a gift for your time .
And if you find yourself on the justice for myles page tell them bill sent you
❤️❤️❤️❤️
