10/20/2022
You can’t get back that time, you can’t just choose to go back and do it again.
There’s a sense of envy that comes over those who are able to take pictures of themselves in a public setting without caring about what others may think. After years of issues with my self esteem, as well as having severe anxiety problems, it’s a major challenge for me to take pictures out in public of myself.
There’s this constant lingering fear of being watched and judged by others, feeling like all eyes are locked on you. While in the back of your head you know they’re judging you, wondering why someone who looked like you would even want to take pictures of themselves. It’s easy to think about how untrue that statement is but when you’re inside that moment those thoughts feel so real.
Back in 2016 I went on my first and only (so far) international trip, going to England and France with my high school. When so many of my peers took selfies and pictures of themselves with beautiful landmarks and scenery in them. I didn’t feel comfortable doing so as I struggled so much with internal thoughts of being judged and laughed at. The only pictures of myself I have from that trip are the group picture the teachers would take.
I’ll never be able to get that time back, to go and be able to tell myself that it’s okay to take the picture, no one will judge you. I can’t go back and make a different choice in that situation, the opportunity for those memories to be captured was lost due to my own insecurities.
I urge you to go ahead and take the picture or have it taken of you. If you struggle like I do it won’t be easy but as you keep working towards it you begin to feel more comfortable and overtime it becomes less scary. Go ahead and take the picture, I promise you it’s worth it; you’ll want the memories captured.
Took my gorgeous little cousin out for some fall portraits. They turned off so much better than I could have imagined. Can't believe soon I’ll be preparing of her grade 8 grad.😭
Model: .roseeeeee
