09/20/2024
Thank you, Safety Satchel
You lent me your heartbeat
And carried me through
- not darkness, not weakness -
through the tunnels between pretending I was alright.
In the moments that I was alone, or felt alone,
because my entire system was too fatigued to comprehend existence beyond the immediate.
You kept me in the present on that particular day.
Checking on me, permanently by my side, as always,
though this day you didn’t allow me to sleep.
Rest was permitted, but to drift off whether I laid upon you or sat beside, was not.
Not on your watch.
You’d gently boot me each time, as though you absolutely knew what was going on.
I felt calmness wash over me, pure serenity
- it’s all over now -
My presence disconnected from my body.
You came to my lap.
I had to wake up, not see that light;
and it was way beyond time to call my partner and get my ass to the hospital for fluids.
**For context, I was very ill during my second pregnancy and Satchel was with me every step of the way before, during, and after. **
Just as you carried me during my sickness, I hope I was able to reflect even a fraction of your doting support and love as I tried to carry you through yours.
We said goodbye this past weekend. Though it's only goodbye in the physical sense. The memories are here; the lessons you taught, the care you showed, the love and comfort you provided, all live on through those who love you.
And though it hurts to say goodbye, I don’t feel as though a hole has been left.
Quite the opposite, the friendship we shared taught me to feel whole.
October 29, 2013 - September 14, 2024