05/07/2014
All-right, you should call yourself a Photographer..! But if you have most the qualities mentioned below then how about adding a ‘WANNABE’ before Photographer?
1.Megapixels matter more than any other specification. The more the megapixels the better the photo.
2.Zoom comes at second spot. Give him a camera with 50x zoom and he will guarantee you photos as good as that of Ansel Adams, Steve McCurry and the other few names he/she knows.
3.The size of lens is directly proportional to the quality of Photograph. Settings don’t matter.
4.Never ever use the viewfinder, they are so small compared to the LCD screen. They are fancy items.
5.Keep the date and time-stamp on. People should know the exact second the image was clicked.
6.Worldwide presence ; A page, a flickr page, a 500px page, a wordpress blog, a tumblr blog, an instagram page and wherever its Free.
7.Turn every photo into black and white ( and your Photographs becomes Masterpieces which will go down in the history as all time greatest)
8.Shoot Flowers, Food and Selfie. There is no better subject as these three. They constitute the Holy Trinity. Keep posting the mirror selfies with your new DSLR or Smartphone and posting as your profile image to announce to the world, that you have automatically won the tag of being a Photographer.
9.Beg for Likes. Hey I posted a photo so like it please. Hey I have a Photography Page so follow it please.
10.Filters in instagram app & in picasa presets are the greatest photographic post processing tool. You can even click sh*t and apply those filter to achieve great results. Color Pop ; You make the whole photo black and white except the red lipstick on her lips.
11.Write a comment below the photos posted by those stupid photographers (real professionals) ; Oh ! Thats a fake photoshopped image!
12.Photoshop is the only great software in this Universe.
13.Add a wide border, add dark vignettes, oversaturate it, add some lens flare, shoot up the contrast and there you have it ! (Why not even vomit on it? Would add some taste and smell too.)
14.If nothing works then blow the snapshot with an HDR like no other. The dynamic range being so high that the viewer should fail to realize that it was some photo.
15.Add a Giant watermark along with your name, this is the most important thing. This ensures that the masterpieces are never stolen.
