06/10/2025
Let me be real with my view on womanhood.
To be honest, I never knew how to be a woman, even though I was taught and told to act in a certain way. I grew up in a house where the women I looked up to as role models would do anything to survive life. Plus, my childhood was never one full of affection and warmth, so what I learned to do was survive. I survived to taste the real freedom of life — to be released from the box of judgments and expectations. I did have my moments of being a happy, young girl, until one point in life when it was gone from my mind.
With that, I went on through life — finished high school, went to college, and explored life with the freedom I had just gained. University was like a door into a new world for me. I met different people, learned about new perspectives, and was introduced to social concepts from the Western world. Then, of course, it was my first time getting to know about feminism and being so influenced by women empowerment, both from books and media. I was so drawn to the idea of “a strong, independent woman.” I guess, at the time, this term didn’t have as much popularity as it does on the internet.
I never had a clear understanding of women empowerment. All I knew was to encourage women to be stronger, to raise their voices, to promote the rights of women in society — but not to be equal, and certainly not to defeat men. I always thought that being strong meant never showing emotions or weaknesses. To be independent meant being capable of doing things all by myself. To be equal meant seeing all people the same, regardless of their gender. It almost sounds so good in a way, BUT it seemed like I rejected a part of my own truth and my identity as a woman. All I had in mind was that I was just a human.
My way of thinking was linked to my childhood experience, and of course, I can only see that now. Womanhood was too restricted and complicated for me. What I hated the most was the beauty standard because I never fit in anywhere. Living is hard enough — why pressure ourselves with all those imagined standards? Why can’t we be pretty in our own way? That’s why my younger self would rather choose to be no woman at all, thinking that would keep her free from the standards and alive.
However, recently, I’ve started seeing a change in my perspective on being a woman. I've realized that a strong, independent woman is still a woman. She can be soft and emotional. She can ask for help when she needs it. She is capable of loving and being loved. She can be pretty the way she is. More importantly, she can be anything she wants to be — whether a mother, a wife, a career woman, or single. That's the true definition of women empowerment. And that's what I want to be. A 'woman' of her own free will. No label, just a woman who I’m becoming. That's just enough.