08/25/2026
It’s been 25 years, and it’s still very difficult to talk about. Actually, when I think about it, I don’t believe I’ve ever told anyone outside my immediate family. With all the attention now on the Clancy case, I thought it might be time. I was in my 20s when I got pregnant with my first daughter. I wanted to start a family more than anything. I had a successful career as a trader on Wall Street, but all I wanted was to start a family. What happened to me after giving birth was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to overcome, and yes, even harder than fighting cancer. Let me start by saying that unless you have had postpartum psychosis, you CAN NOT understand what is happening. Even after having been through it, it’s difficult to comprehend.When the intrusive thoughts began, I felt more scared than I’d ever been. It’s not depression. It’s not “baby blues.” It’s much stronger and more powerful than that. It’s not your own voice. You know that voice you hear that tells you two glasses of wine is enough, or that maybe you shouldn’t have that second slice of cake? It’s a voice that’s not yours, stronger and uglier than you can imagine. A voice telling you to do unthinkable things. Things you don’t want to do, but it takes every cell in your body to fight for your life and the life of your child.Like Lindsay, I went to a doctor who prescribed the wrong medication that made things worse. I was getting weaker and less able to fight with every day.
I looked my husband in the eye and told him that I could NOT be left alone. He understood that I was desperate. He may not have understood exactly what I was going through..how could he? But he knew me. He knew I loved our little family. So we called our village. My mother and father left their home in PA to come stay with us. They came to stay so that I would never be left alone with my baby.They didn’t come for a weekend or a week..they stayed for months. Because that’s how long it took for my body and mind to heal, for my psychosis to disappear.You may think, how can you possibly hurt your babies? You can’t understand..But you must listen to postpartum moms who are crying out for help! They need to find their village 💔
