12/01/2023
Yes?
No?
No?
No, of course not?
We didn’t naturally become so mean to ourselves. It was taught to us, slowly over time.
Do you remember the first time you were “taught” to believe there was something about your body that needed to change?
Take a deep breath in and let it out twice as long.
That feeling you feel right now isn’t hate. What is it?
Is it shame? Where is it in your body?
I feel it. I remember the exact sentence that was said to me.
There was a buildup before it, but about other bodies. I didn’t think it applied to me - until this sentence was said…
I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I was standing in my grandparents driveway, about 10 or 11, and I remember the exact words:
“You need to stop eating so many candy bars, you’re getting a little tummy.”
The heat that covered my face, the urge to run home - it was only a block away - the start of a carefree life I wouldn’t ever get back.
I never realized until now, but when people ask…what was your most embarrassing moment? That was it.
Not embarrassing like wear-your-shirt-backwards-all-day embarrassing, but the kind that affects the way you think about your worth as a human; if you will ever be able to enjoy the candy bar that, ironically, the fat-shamer themself has been supplying after school.
What was your moment? Did you have an age where you could go swimming and not suck in your stomach, and then never again hit a pool without feeling like all eyes were on your body, scanning in disgust for flaws?
Or has it been this way since you can remember?
It seems impossible to believe that self-love can be found after decades of self-loathing. After telling yourself every hour: don’t eat that; start Monday; move more; that food is the right one or the wrong one; the way you’re sitting isn’t flattering; look up; your neck has three chins like that; pull your shirt down; don’t get in the picture.
It seems impossible.
It’s possible to turn it into…
I love the way my soft body feels.
Shopping wore me out - my body is a badass! It made it through 3X more than usual today.
I love my weight when it changes, stays the same…no matter what.
Weight Love. Love more of yourself.