Torn Veil Photography and Blog, 591 Co op Loop (2026)

02/10/2025

Ive been on a bit of a hiatus, but strapped the camera back on for a fun little shoot with some friends at Community Fitness E2.

If you’re looking for a place to feel part of a community who prioritizes health and a good time, check this place out. I’ve meet some lifelong friends at this place. And I’ve also done a few thousand burpees 😅 don’t worry, you learn to love them 🫣

These people leave their egos at the door and their sweat on the floor. Go check them out, I’d love to see you there!

14/06/2025

I’ve been slacking lately on posting some shoots I’ve recently done. Forgive me 😅

Got to catch up with an old friend of mine today and got to see her sweet little babe! Thanks so much for letting me document this special season 🥹🥰

I may be biased, but preemie babes are the sweetest babes 🥹🫶🏼

23/04/2025

Why does God allow suffering?

If you came here looking for an answer, I’m sorry, but I can’t give you one.

But what I do know, is that you can waste your suffering.

And that is something my sweet new friend, Courtney Hagenbuch, refuses to do.

We don’t always get to choose our suffering.

Sometimes it looks like battling crippling anxiety. Overcoming sexual abuse. Navigating an aggressive diagnosis. Sometimes it’s all the above.

We will not escape this life unscathed.

A quick flip through scripture and we see suffering at almost every turn of the page.

We cannot always control what our suffering looks like, but we can be darn sure not to waste it.

What does it look like to not waste our suffering?

Well, this is where Courtney comes in.

Humans are so funny with our silly expectations.

After confirming my time to meet with Courtney and hear her story, I ran every scenario through my head. All of them involving me providing Courtney with encouragement and support.

I was ready to go in and give her the pep talk of the century, encourage her on her walk with the Lord during this trying time for her. You know, all that jazz.

The Lord struck down my pride in the instant I met Courtney.

Who knew it would be ME gaining the strength and encouragement from this faithful saint?

Never once in the retelling of her story did I hear even the slightest tone of complaint.

Not when she told me about:

-How her and her husband Jacob’s home burnt down in 2014 and they lost everything

-How she had to advocate for herself just to be taken seriously

-How she was delivered the news that there was “cancer everywhere”

-How she was told “This is going to kill you”

-How she underwent therapy that was so radioactive that she couldn’t be around her children for over 2 weeks in fear of giving them a radioactive BURN.

-How she struggled to eat and at one point had to consider a feeding tube

-How nearly every muscle had been stripped from her neck, causing chronic pain to even hold her head up

Not ONE single utterance of a complaint left her mouth.

I soon found myself trying to pry out a complaint.

Just one.

There had to be at least ONE thing her soul refused to accept.

I found NONE.

Submission so pure, that not even the threat of death or the reality of suffering could sway her faith.

I had never witnessed that type of faith first hand.

Sure I’d heard about it, but to SEE it….

It really does exist.

At one point I asked Courtney how she is still able to live a life glorifying the Lord, knowing she may not see healing on this side of Heaven.

This is what she said:

“I don’t think there is any loss in the way that the healing comes. If I’m healed here and I get to stay and see my babies graduate high school and to see retirement with Jacob, that’s great…

IF I DON’T, and it’s written for me to go on to Heaven, I’m sorry ya’ll but I’m OUT and I. Am. GOING!

There is no loss.”

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THERE IS NO LOSS.

Courtney has not always had this frame of mind though.

It’s something that the Lord has cultivated in her over the past 5 years since her diagnosis.

She admitted at the beginning of this journey her prayers often sounded more like, “God let me live to see my children grown old.” Prayers begging for life.

Her prayers now sound more like, “God use me to glorify you.”

And THAT is how you don’t waste your suffering.

The space between those two prayers has been filled with a refining fire, a pruning away of fleshly desires and a putting on of an eternal perspective.

A putting off of this world and a submission to the Lord’s good will.

And Courtney calls it good.

Despite the pain, heart ache and sickness, Courtney fully anticipates making it to the end of her life ready to shake her fist at death. To look at this suffering in light of eternity and say, “it really was worth it”.

And whether healing comes on this side of Heaven (though we pray fervently that it does) or the other, we can trust this one thing:

God is still good and He is making all things new.

Write that down.

Because it is trustworthy and true.

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I’d like to give a big thank you to Courtney and her family for taking time out of their Easter weekend to talk with me and welcome me into their home. Thank you for letting me ask questions but most importantly thank you for your obedience to Christ. It has inspired me and encouraged me in more ways than you can ever imagine.

For a small token of my appreciation I am sharing Courtney’s Go Fund Me in hopes that others can love on her and her family in a way that can alleviate some monetary pressure.

Courtney’s words were “the Lord hasn’t failed us yet. Have we ever gone without food? Have we ever slept in the rain?”

The resounding NO to those questions are credited to the good Lord above and his faithful servants below.

If you feel led to donate, you can do so at:

https://gofund.me/f9f894a4
Or
Venmo:

And to stay encouraged and up to date with her journey, follow her at: Courtney, The Unfiltered Fight

19/02/2025

“GO AWAY”

We’ve all seen those weirdly passive aggressive door mats or porch signs.

You know, the ones that normally would say “Welcome” or, one of my favorites, “take off your shoes”.

Although they’re normally written in beautiful cursive that screams “welcome!”, the words themselves say otherwise.

“GO AWAY”

Or even better..

“PLEASE LEAVE”

At least that one said please.

I’m not sure when exactly this shift happened in society. When welcome mats became a billboard to actively deter company.

I remember the first time I saw one of these door mats and I laughed.

“That’s so bold. And funny. I like that.”

Until I realized how quickly society (including myself) engrained that mindset.

“GO AWAY”

It wasn’t just a door mat on our front porch. It became the expression on our faces.

Better yet, it became the posture of our hearts.

I read a quote today that said, “You need at least four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs for maintenance, and twelve hugs for growth.”

When I read that quote, 17 year old Emily gasped!

I recall, not so long ago, being on the bandwagon of “I’m not a hugger” and would have DEFINITLEY been on the band wagon of buying the door mat that said “GO AWAY”.

Not even the one that said “please” either.

Maybe I’m getting soft with age.

But I can recall a few hugs that have breathed new life into me. And I’ll be the first to admit, at least a handful of those hugs, I did NOT openly welcome.

In my past, I’ve been told I look about as cuddly as a porcupine thanks to my RBF. (If you don’t know what that means, look it up).

It took people who could look past that “tough girl” façade to reach out, to hold my hand, to hug me, to wrap an arm around me and pray for me, to be vulnerable and welcome me to do the same.

I thank the gracious and kind Lord above that there are people who never bought into the “GO AWAY” door mat ideology.

Because I did.

And I suffered for it.

I isolated myself because of it. It is, after all, more comfortable to never put yourself out there. To never put yourself in the position to be rejected or thought of as “odd” or worse, “too much”.

Maybe you have a “GO AWAY” sign on the front door of your heart.

I see you.

After all, its not hard to see. You wear it on your face as well.

I was you.

Heck, catch me in the wrong mood today and sometimes that’s still me (just being honest here). 🤦🏼‍♀️

But what I can tell you is, I have felt the love of people who have chosen to disregard the signs on my face and my heart.

And it was only then that I truly felt the love of Christ.

If you have those hard to love people in your life, those people who are “as cuddly as a porcupine”, be patient with them, and love them through it.

Scripture actually calls us to “greet one another with a holy kiss.”

Now what I’m NOT saying is to put your crusty lips on someone who doesn’t even want a hug…

Not sure I’d want that either HA!

BUT it does ode to the idea of greeting one another with love. Greeting one another in a way that physically portrays our love for them.

29 year old Emily gets close to the point of tears now whenever a friend/new acquaintance reaches out to hug me.

I know the ministry of it.

I know the love behind it.

I’ve felt the healing power of a loving touch when I’ve given someone every sign to “GO AWAY”

I hope you’ll consider throwing that door mat away.

Have you had your hug today?

13/02/2025

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”

Psalm 13:5-6

Psalm 13 begins as a cry of anguish. Demanding an explanation. It ends in praise to God. Take note fellow believer 💗

Praise conquers defeat.

What a mighty God.

07/02/2025

Thanks to The Pour Over for bringing this to mind this morning.

Speaking truth without love ≠ loving

Speaking love without truth ≠ loving

Speaking truth WITH love = loving

It’s a fine dance to do.

To keep yourself from sugar coating something so much that you completely leave out the truth or on the other end of the spectrum, wielding the truth like a sword; injuring rather than equipping.

To my fellow Christians and those who “tell it like it is”;

I’ve been there, I’ve been that person. And truth be told, there are times when I am STILL that person.

The person who wields truth like a sword, tearing down any person in my way, in the name of truth telling.

“Someone’s gotta say it”

“It’s the truth!”

“If no one else is going to say it, I will!”

There is a better way.

Choose to speak truth WITH love.

I’m thankful for this reminder today.

Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit

05/02/2025

There is a story in the book of Numbers that I’d like to talk about real quick.

It’s the story of the bronze serpent.

In a nutshell what happened was this:

Moses led the Jewish people out of slavery in Egypt, they’re wandering around for a while, they get impatient and started complaining. Why would God bring us out of slavery, just to leave us stranded in the desert? We’re tired of this food that he provides for us every day.

Sounds a lot like a dramatic teen or hangry toddler to me.

But isn’t that so often us?

Why don’t you provide me with a bigger home God? Why don’t you bless us financially? Why don’t you bless me in the way I want to be blessed?

The whole time completely glossing over our abundant blessings that we have a roof over our head, stable jobs and more blessings than we can list on all ten fingers and ten toes.

But we see it here perfectly when the people of Israel said, “There is no food and no water, and we loathe this worthless food.”….

Wait…

Didn’t you just say there was no food… And then in the same breath you’re complaining about the food?!

But we so often do the same thing! We really are no different than these people from centuries ago.
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But that’s just half the story.

Because of their sinfulness, God sends serpents among them and many are bitten and die. The people repent, and God tells Moses to craft together a bronze serpent on a pole and if those who are bitten look at it, they’ll live.

I read that and was like, “well this is weird.”

As I started to read some commentaries on this though, it highlighted the symbolism of the bronze serpent and how Jesus referred to himself as being similar to the bronze serpent in John 3:14-15.

Let’s consider this for a moment.

It’s a commentary from Enduring Word:

“If any life still remained in the person, they could look and live. Some who had just been bitten looked and lived; some who were almost dead looked and lived. There was no case too difficult so that someone who looked would not live.”

Sounds a lot like Jesus’ redeeming work on the cross does it not?

Bronze serpent = Look and Live

Jesus = Believe and live

Both are incredibly simple. There’s no work that has to be done on our part to obtain the healing other than to look and believe.

I would bet that there were Jews that day in the camp that died because their unbelief.

That died because they thought, “Surely looking at this silly serpent won’t be enough to save me”

…and they looked elsewhere.

Are you guilty of the same?

You’ve probably (hopefully) heard who Jesus is and what he offers us.

Repent and believe.

It can’t be so simple right? There’s got to be a catch.

That my friends is the thought process that keeps us from our healing.

So no matter how ate up with venom you are, it really is that simple.

Look and be saved.

“Look to Me, and be saved, all you ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other” Isaiah 45:22

01/01/2025

Going through some photos from this year and sharing some of my favs.

Reflecting over this past year; the people I’ve gotten to meet, the things I’ve gotten to discuss and the things people have taught me have been absolutely astounding. How great a blessing this little gig has become.

So looking forward to doing more in the spring. Not sure where I’ll start or where I’ll end up, but I know this year has some great things to come.

Stick along to see what the Lord does in 2025 with Torn Veil Photography & Blog 🤗🥳

14/12/2024

I recently hung a gallery wall up at home and realized just how few photos I have of my mom and I doing our favorite thing together (aside from shopping obviously): hanging in the kitchen.

I threw my camera at Christopher and told him to snap a couple pics. To say I’m proud is an understatement 🥹

My hands are still sticky from the white chocolate but my heart is full and I’ll have these memories to look back on for years to come.

I’m officially in the holiday spirit. Last minute Christmas shopping is done, Christmas candy is soon to be bagged and there will be presents under the tree soon enough.

If you’re fighting the Christmas blues or just can’t find the holiday spirit, sometimes you have to make the magic yourself. ✨

Side note, Torn Veil version of WE LISTEN AND WE DONT JUDGE:

I consider myself a DECENT cook/baker. But I for the life of me cannot make chocolate covered peanuts…. And that’s a secret I’ll take to my grave 🫣😅

Send help 🤪

04/11/2024

My sis is married 🥹

I’ve always viewed my little sister as my “first child”. I’ve always felt a protectiveness over her and a responsibility for her.

But watching her get married on Friday I felt a subtle shift. She’ll always be my little sis, but she’s grown into a woman that I not only admire but very much respect.

(Don’t tell her I said that though, we still have to act like we can’t stand each other 😅)

The simplicity of the wedding was something so sweet and beautiful.

When the cultural norm is to spend thousands and plan for years, my sister (in her very no frills way) said nope, we just want to be married.

So that’s what they did.

It takes me back to a time, not that long ago in fact, when weddings looked like small intimate gatherings in a church fellowship hall when all the guests were served was peanuts and punch.

Might I also add, when weddings were done that way, marriages seemed to last longer? 🤔

So maybe it’s not the amount of planning, stress, money and logitics that makes a wedding memorable, but the love that flows on from that day.

I can’t wait to see these two grow as one and to watch them tackle life together.

Here’s to one of life’s most exciting journies!! 🥂

Love you both so much!!

03/11/2024

Church this morning looked a bit different.

Logistics and the continuance of a chaotic week that just won’t stop (😅) left us at home for church this morning.

But don’t worry, it was a packed house! Payton invited every friend she could muster up and we had a heck of a turn out.

In all seriousness this week has been one for the books. An ER visit, home projects gone awry, plans failed, many stressful tears cried (on my part).

Not sure we could have made it through the week without the world’s best in-laws and the sweetest friends willing to help.

So thankful for people loving us through our messes. Because this week, we were absolutely the definition of a MESS 🤣

Jesus thanks for getting us through this week. And please, walk with us into this new week because…. We’re just a little weary 😅

09/10/2024

🍂 Canning apples at granny’s house 🍂

What is it about a grandma’s home that makes it so magical? So full of nostalgia and love. It’s the little things that often go by without notice.

Like the calendar hung in the kitchen, with EVERYONES birthday on it. Kids, grandkids, great grand kids, spouses, heck probably even the mail man’s birthday.

They’re all there and accounted for.

The calendar also humbly states, “bread” in loose cursive handwriting every couple of weeks. A day dedicated only to baking sourdough.

And we can’t leave out the gallery wall of all the grandkids right by her chair. Or the DQ sippy cup sitting on the coffee table that has somehow survived dozens of grandkids and great-grandkids over the course of 30 years.

Every inch of the home holds a memory; a testament to a life abundantly blessed.

🍁

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What are some of those nostalgic things at YOUR grandmas house?

Torn Veil Photography and Blog

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