28/09/2024
Starting Thursday, Russian cybersecurity company Kaspersky took a more “hands-on” approach by deleting its antivirus software from U.S. customers’ computers, like a thief in the night—only this time, they left you a replacement. Congratulations! Your shiny new gift? UltraAV’s antivirus solution, installed without so much as a “Hey, is this cool with you?”
Kaspersky decided to pull the plug on its U.S. operations and fire all its employees, probably because the U.S. government added them to its "We Don’t Trust You" list in June. After all, who wouldn’t love to be branded a national security concern? As a cherry on top, the Biden administration declared, "No more Kaspersky sales or updates!" starting September 2024. So, no Kaspersky for you!
In July, Kaspersky told everyone they’d start closing shop and laying off staff on July 20. But don’t worry, they reassured you that UltraAV, a company no one’s heard of, would swoop in to save you from cyber boogeymen. They sent emails telling you everything was going to be fine—except they forgot to mention they’d be wiping Kaspersky off your computer without asking first.
People woke up to find UltraAV squatting on their desktops like an uninvited guest at a party. “I thought I had a virus,” one unlucky user said, after discovering Kaspersky had ghosted him. Ironically, people were more terrified of their new antivirus than actual malware. It didn’t help that uninstalling UltraAV was like trying to shake off a stubborn leech—just when you thought it was gone, it reappeared after a reboot. Nice touch.
To make things even better, some folks found UltraVPN installed too. It’s like buying a vacuum and getting a toaster thrown in for free—except you never wanted the toaster and it sets off fire alarms.
UltraAV, part of the mysterious Pango Group (you know, the people behind VPN brands nobody asked for), kindly explained on their website that they’re doing you a favor. They’ll be keeping you "safe" after Kaspersky peaces out on September 30, 2024. Thanks for the warning—after the fact.
A Kaspersky employee chimed in on the forums, saying this whole swap was a partnership with UltraAV to make sure U.S. customers wouldn’t suddenly find themselves without protection. You know, like that friend who "helps" you by crashing on your couch for six months without telling you in advance.
Kaspersky is confident the transition is "seamless" and claims UltraAV is basically just like them. Except nobody’s buying it, because who trusts anything that force-installs itself on your computer? Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Kaspersky couldn’t be reached for comment—probably too busy packing their bags.