17/01/2022
Quiet observation , being present, action with intent x
A child's "talking back" or "bad attitude" is not indicative of their lack of respect.
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A child can deeply love and revere their family and simply be expressing their overwhelming feelings or beliefs which would not seem so overwhelming if they felt free to share.
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When we take attitudes personally we miss out on the opportunity to grow and to help our children grow.
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Seeking to understand objectively and empathize sincerely is a vital skill to sustain healthy relationships.
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When we model how to share our opinions and feelings respectfully our children learn how to do the same.
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Learning how to communicate respectfully requires a good example, practice, and maturity.
Conscious Communication may look something like this:
🔸Be present! Put down your phone or whatever you're doing so you can focus.
🔸Breathe slowly.
🔸Listen. Truly listen.
🔸Look for an unmet need, unheard feeling, or limiting belief beneath the behavior. (behind your child's and your trigger)
🔸Sincerely care. Empathize and Validate. With yourself internally and your child externally.
🔸If you feel calm communicate your feeling, need, or request clearly without using threats, shame, blame, or criticism.
🔸If you don't feel calm, ask to have some time to think. [🔸Connect to yourself. It’s good to feel all your emotions & validate them for yourself. 🔸 When reconnected to yourself go and help your child do the same.]
🔸Reconnect with your child. Find time to be together (Play, read, walk, create a meal or artwork together....anything you will both enjoy)
✨Most of the time connection replaces the need for correction.✨
🔸 When your child and you are both regulated you can problem-solve together.
(This may mean you change your mind now that you have a better understanding but it doesn't mean going against your core values or intuition. Hold your boundary empathetically.)
🧡 Lelia.
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