08/09/2022
R U OKAY DAY. In our of today and mental health I wanted to share this poem that’s very close to my heart. It’s something I’ve struggled with for years and although it’s still hard from time to time I’ve come to realise that things do eventually get a little brighter.
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Anxieties got me in a chokehold
And with every breathe i take
Their grip gets tighter and tighter until i cant take it anymore
Until the pressure gets the best of me and i collapse
Back into my bed
Back into my safety
Its where my anxiety wants me to stay
Where my depression thrives
And where the world seems peaceful
Especially at night
No ones around
I love the night time
Its as if I'm in my own world
I make the rules
No one is around to see me fall,
Or how i dance around my room to music
Its just me
And that's how my anxiety and depression want it to be
Just the three of us
For the rest of my life
Its sad
But is it?
Isnt what everyone wants in life is to find the place where they feel the most comfortable
Somewhere they feel at home
Somewhere they belong
My room is that place for me
The four walls are my safety nest
And i know it isnt right
I know i cant stay like this
And deep down i really don't want it to
I love the little life I've created for myself out of these four walls
And I'm thriving for the first time ever
I have never been as happy as i am now
But every now and again
Anxiety and depression come back
With a grip around my throat
And its harder
And harder
Than ever to push them off of me
To get them to let go
To be able to finally breathe again
And enjoy the life I've created
Anxiety and depression are a bitch
But their my bi***es
And i love them in their own little quirky way
But you know what they say sometimes you got to let go of the things you love the most
Because they are not always looking out for your best interests
And i know anxiety and depression aren't my friends
But its hard
And they will forever come and go into my life
But they no longer control me
I can no longer stay confined to the four walls of my room
Because the world is truly my oyster
And its time I take charge of it on my own.