06/05/2026
I spend a lot of time wishing I was more technical.
As a person who takes pictures, I look at people who can explain every camera setting, every lighting technique, every editing trick, and I think:
"Why can't my brain work like that?"
I've bought the books.
I've tried to watch the videos.
I've been able to read exactly one page of some of those books. And for a long time, I've thought that meant I was doing it wrong.
Maybe that's why this has been rattling around in my head lately.
This isn't just a photography thing.
Sometimes it feels like I'm standing at the fence wishing I had the skills or techniques that people on the other side have.
From where I'm standing, it looks like they do things so effortlessly.
And somewhere along the way, I started to believe that meant I wasn't good enough.
The world gave me a measuring stick, and I started using it on myself.
But why does their way of doing things automatically become the standard by which I judge my own?
The little kid version of me wasn't asking:
"How do I fit in?"
She was asking:
"What does Katie want to do?"
Maybe "adult" me (I use that term loosely) is trying to reclaim some of that while still learning from the world.
Because there is value in technical knowledge, experience, and expertise.
But there is also value in curiosity, individuality, experimentation, and personal style.
I'm beginning to think the danger is when we start believing one matters more than the other.
Different isn't the same as wrong.
I just want to stop judging myself for doing things my own way.
Maybe that's the lesson.
Or maybe it's just something I've needed to hear myself.
To just keep walking.
As myself.
