10/19/2025
****Personal Post*****
Lately I have felt a calling to talk about my journey with grief in hopes that it could help others.
In the last 4 years, I lost 6 of my immediate family members (My Dad, Step Mom, brother, sister and Mother/Father in-law). I also faced stage 3 cancer and looked death in the face at 30 yrs old.
In the beginning, my relationship with grief was turbulent. I did everything I could to avoid it but most days I felt like ending my life. I didn’t understand the purpose of living, when I felt so sad. My grief manifested as intense anger, lashing out at the ones closest to me. I was in constant fight, flight or freeze mode. My nervous system rocked to the core.
Eventually I found spirituality. I realized there is more to life than this little one I lived. Within that nugget of truth, I decided to surrender to my grief.
I realized the best thing I could do was not run from the grief but to hold it close to my heart, nourish it and show it attention. It wanted to be seen and heard.
When you embrace the dark feelings with curiosity, it allows you to see things in a different way.
I began to realize why it was necessary for me to experience loss. It was part of my purpose to help others and to transform who I was. By nurturing my grief, I was able to alchemize it into positive energy and love.
We can run from grief all we want but it will manifest in chronic pain, cancer, autoimmune disorders or mental health issues. These are all a cry for attention from our body. It wants to be seen and will do whatever it takes to do that.
Grief is meant to be embraced so it can be released. When we face the dark pits of ourselves, we are expanding downward but equally expanding upwards. For that reason, I will always be grateful for the loss I have endured; it made me love life on a whole new level. It made me the intuitive, loving and accepting person I am today.
