10/26/2022
It has taken me six months to be comfortable in my own skin. I had a hard time looking in the mirror because of all the physical changes I have experienced from my breast cancer diagnosis.
It has taken every ounce of courage to step into the hospital and face my newfound medical anxiety from all that has happened from putting western medicine in my body. My body is a sensitive temple and will rise and flare when it does not like something.
It has taken every ounce of strength to get through days where I had treatment and my babies are watching me asking if I will be ok.
It has taken every ounce of tenacity I have on infusion days and scan days to not run out those hospital doors and never look back.
I have faced my children asking me if I was going to die. Something a mother never ever wants to talk to her children about at the ages of 12, 10 and 7.
I have endured 6 immunotherapy treatments, 13 chemotherapy treatments, 24 blood draw appts, a port insertion in my chest, a biopsy, a brain scan, a bone scan, an mri, 2 cat scans on my abdomen, chest and pelvic scans and chest xrays. This is all within the last six months.
I have watched hundreds of people get chemo infusions with fear and tears in their eyes of the unknown. I have listened to nurses doing the intro to chemo talk over and over remembering my first day of chemo and how devastating it was to be in a cancer clinic at 39.
I have faced all of this at the same time I continue on working and caring for my boys. Limiting my capacity to what I can handle physically at work . I don’t have disability insurance I can lean into. So I do need to still work.
This is my reality for this chapter of my life. I tell you all of this not to feel sorry for me. I tell you all of this because so many people get caught up in petty concerns. Health is your wealth. Life is precious so stop fretting over nothing. Be grateful you woke up this morning. That you have a warm home and food to eat. That you can speak to your loved ones. That you have the freedom to be in Canada.
I thank my clients who have continued to support me and be so understanding there may be some delays.
I have always been my authentic self and that is something I will never let go of. Always keeping it real. What you see is what you get. Standing in my power.
Much love,
Elisha
