08/07/2025
"Grandpa, I think you lost your pants."
Dressing up as older versions of ourselves on the Thursday of Shambhala this year will forever be some of the greatest moments I got to share with some of the best people I love. I don't think we ever hit a Thursday like that before. Our crew was still small at this point, but we didn't let that stop us from getting into character and falling into play. Thursday is also the first real day of music and fun, and every time that day comes around, the mind and body remembers the magic of truly being home. To share that feeling while being the most silly with my favorite humans was magical. It was also the hottest, most sunny day of the entire festival. It started off with Amanda, Zoe, and I, and we just sent it in the heat. I was wearing trousers, a shirt, a sweater vest, a wig and an ivy cap. I was cooking. As we returned back to camp to reconvene, I couldn't help but strip all the way down. At that same moment, the rest of our small crew at the time, Jared and Sue, finally joined us in their senior attire. Amanda still wanted me to be part of it, so she dressed me back up with just the sweater vest, elephant tie, and ivy cap. For my lower half, she insisted I wear my leopard print swim thong. It was the first time in a while that I felt unsure about my attire, vulnerable. Seen in a way I wasn't sure I was ready to be seen. But I trusted Amanda's vision, even if I felt like some eccentric French Asian professor. Out on the dancefloor I woman came up to me and told me she appreciated my look and vibe. I was shocked. Curious if she thought the same thing, I asked her to describe my look. She started to list off the details. My facial jewelery, earrings, pink hair, and even the custom accessories I added to my cane. She saw beyond the costume, beyond the comedy, into the full texture of me. She saw the details of care, the intention, the presence. And in that moment, that ended up being my favorite outfit of the entire festival. Because she reminded me that it wasn't about the outfit. It never was.
