05/29/2026
They Were Selling Us the Wrong Dreams
The average person spends nearly their entire life chasing āmoreā more money, more success, more approval yet studies continue to show that genuine happiness is most deeply tied to connection, relationships, and presence. So why are we still living like peace is something we have to earn?
Honestly? I think a lot of us have been chasing a version of happiness we never truly stopped to question. Somewhere along the way, society convinced us that the dream looked a certain way. We were taught that success meant constantly upgrading ourselves and our lives. More money meant more happiness. More attention meant more worth. Better bodies meant more love. Bigger homes, busier schedules, more followers, more productivity, more hustle. Always more.
Even rest has somehow become something people feel guilty for now. I catch myself slipping into it too sometimes. Looking around and wondering if I should be doing more, building more, fixing more, achieving more. Social media especially has a way of making ordinary life feel invisible. You can have a beautiful family, a safe home, people who genuinely love you, food on the table, laughter filling your kitchenā¦ and still somehow feel like you are not doing enough because your life does not look flashy enough online.
That realization hit me hard recently. When I really sit down and think about the moments that have made me feel the most alive, none of them looked anything like the version of success we are constantly being sold. The moments that stay with me are painfully simple.
They are the quiet mornings before everyone wakes up, when the house feels still for a second and the sunlight starts spilling through the windows. They are the tiny hands that still reach for mine without hesitation. They are evenings outside watching the sky change colors while the kids laugh somewhere in the background. They are the moments with my husband where nothing extraordinary is happening, yet somehow everything feels complete because I am fully loved for who I actually am and not for what I can offer or achieve.
I also think that kind of love deserves to be talked about more. Not the loud, performative kind people post online for validation, but the gentle kind. The kind that allows you to slowly unlearn all the ways you once believed you had to earn safety, acceptance, or love. There is something deeply healing about being loved softly when the world has taught you to survive harshly.
I do not think we realize how much of ourselves has been shaped by performance. Performance for approval. Performance for acceptance. Performance for survival. We learn how to appear okay long before we learn how to actually feel okay. We become so focused on building a life that looks impressive that we forget to ask ourselves if it even feels good to live inside of it. Perhaps that is why so many people are exhausted. Not because they are failing, but because they are chasing dreams that were never truly theirs to begin with.
Lately, I have been wondering if the real dream is actually much quieter than what we were taught. Maybe the dream is not becoming famous, but becoming present. Maybe it is not having the perfect body, but feeling at home inside the one you already have. Maybe success is not measured by how many people admire your life, but by how safe, loved, peaceful, and connected you feel within it. Maybe wealth is having people around your dinner table who genuinely want to be there. Maybe luxury is being able to laugh freely in your own home.
Maybe happiness is not something waiting for us five years from now after we finally become enough. Maybe it has been showing up for us in small ordinary moments all along. In sunsets. In coffee cups. In familiar voices. In messy kitchens filled with love. In the life sitting right in front of us while we were busy chasing another one.
I do not think they intentionally sold us the wrong dreams. I think many people were simply taught to value achievement over presence because that is what they were taught too. I do however think there comes a point where we have to pause and ask ourselves what kind of life we actually want to build. Not one that earns the most applause. Not one that looks the best from the outside. But one that feels real when the phones are down, the house is quiet, and it is just us sitting inside the truth of our own lives.
I want a life that feels good to wake up to. A life filled with connection, meaning, peace, laughter, honesty, softness, growth, and people who love each other deeply. A feeling of being fully present in a life that, while imperfect, was already beautiful long before we realized it.
Happy Fri-Yay Everyone xoxo
Ebree Photography
