17/03/2024
Sometimes we get lost to find ourselves again. I reached a point where I despised all past versions of myself. Self-blame, grudges, and deep sorrow consumed me, making it feel impossible to overcome. It was only with the perspective of time that I realized these were the parts of me that were dying. I tried to rationalize everything with my mind, but the truth was, I wasn’t meant to understand it all at that moment. I have been drowning in immense pain and fear for a long time, but I knew I couldn’t give up. There were moments when I felt like a bet between God and the devil was placed on my soul, testing my endurance in this lifetime. Despite coming close to the worst, I couldn’t bring myself to give in. The road ahead is unclear, and I can only take one step at a time, which is daunting yet perhaps how it’s meant to be.
I’ve come to understand that pain is inevitable in our lives, but it’s our choice whether we allow it to destroy us or learn from it and grow. It’s not easy to admit, as I’ve been struggling for over a year now. At one point, I even felt like I had lost my soul due to the overwhelming human experiences. Remember to be kind to yourself always and know that you are needed and important.
Death is never easy, but where there is death, there is new life, and that’s what I’ve been given. If you can transform pain into something beautiful, consider yourself the most powerful alchemist of a lifetime. This is not a motivational post to fake it till you make it. In all honesty, I feel terrible and anxious myself. The greatest act of self-love I can show myself is to simply show up each and every day. Waking up today is pretty amazing, if you ask me.
#1111