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Almost My Perspective, 170 City Rd, Cardiff (2026)

11/12/2022

Amethyst Phoenix rehearsal 10-12-2022

04/05/2021

13/02/2020

"What are these guys doing fighting over a box of tat?" I thought as I climbed down into the crypt for a night of far out music and experience.
That was the start of the endless decent into madness... slowly losing sight of meaning and why it should be attached to events and people, objects and lessons.
That day was the first sign of trouble. The first reason to fear the future. Nothing quite making sense anymore. Everything, just, ever-so slightly off kilter... not quite in alignment anymore... or was it ever?
There is no going back from that. No unseeing. No unknowing. Once the cracks have been glimpsed they will always be there. Always letting out the light. Always letting in the darkness.
There is nothing to do but accept the situation and find a new way of being. A new way of understanding the world. Or a way of living without understanding. Maybe that is the secret to happiness... accepting that we can't really understand anything.
Whatever... There are so many ways in which life's perspective can shift and change. To the extent that you no longer remember being your former self.
How can I relate to that person?
Why the f**k would they do those things?
That was ME?>!
Well... ok... if you say so... but not anymore. Now I am another me... I hope someday to be another me again... the better one... the one that doesn't hurt all the time... the one that is able to truly become and achieve... The one who is able to realise at least some small portion of their dreams and live up to a part of their potential.
There is still hope.
There is still time.
But not much... I feel just enough hope left to keep trying to find that guy.... to stop them from fighting over that box of tat and get them to fight for the golden dreams that have always been within. Those hidden impulses that date back to the dawn of time... or at least the dawn of my time... Always there. Always there... the need for music... the urge to create... the will to dance and fall in love with the energy of art.

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That was a piece of free writing I did a couple of years ago and stumbled upon recently... only edited for typos and formatting.... definitely need to do more free writing