Here’s my answer, my motivation why, my story... My journey as a photographer started age 9 when I got gifted my first camera from my parents. From then on I was intrigued and fascinated by the art of photography. As my experience and confidence grew over the last 40 years, I’ve successfully dabbled with almost all genres of photography. But never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that my
passion for photography would lead me by choice, to do (and absolutely love)this specific kind of heartfelt photography... The art of capturing very raw personal moments of grief and deep sorrow in a respectful way, that would later transcend into stillness and (much later on) eventual healing. Never did I realise it then, that one day my own humble acts of photography would lead me to be able to share similar profound experiences to my own with others in grief, hadn’t it been for a chapter in my own life’s story... In May 2008 I lost my brother to a senseless quad bike accident. The very next morning my dad passed away from a heart attack. Not once in my life did I ever think I’d have to say my final goodbyes to them both on the very same day. My whole family had to. I remember the shock of it all left me feeling completely paralysed, as if life had become a silent black and white movie in which I had been completely overpowered by loss.. Words fail me to even begin to try and describe that week of my life, the day of the two services. And as a result, what my family had to endure in the months and years to come... But life has its own way of teaching us all strengths and insights in different ways, sometimes instantly, and at other times over months or even years...Neither of which we are ever quite fully prepared for... Life can only be understood in hindsight. In the very few days leading up to that unthinkable day of truth, to hire a photographer was the very last thing on my mind. In fact, thinking back on it now, I don’t think the thought crossed my mind at all. . One could even argue that even if it did, I would have come up with a good number of reasons not to do so. Hadn’t it been for a very good photographer friend of mine who unbeknownst to me, captured both funerals so beautifully and unobtrusively... Without her selfless act of photography and kindness in doing so that day, the deep and profound personal experiences that I would derive later on from looking back at those photos in the future, could’ve been lost on me forever so easily. I didn’t even notice or realise she was taking photographs that day. My whole being - gutted and drained just kept focussing on how to get my family through the day. Especially my mother...
But my insight only came much later. First came the grief. And I couldn't bring myself to even look at those photos. Through the act of looking at those photos again and again months after, that’s when I came to realise just how incredibly privileged and lucky I felt for having those precious images, and so grateful to my friend for her gift, talent and genuine kindness. Through her selfless act of photographing that difficult family day for us, those photos would later on help my family and I to remember all the love and care that surrounded us. Beautifully captured tender hugs of support between family and friends we had missed; gestures of endearment and images of soft laughter at the reception afterwards we weren’t able to see or hear... To name but a few things we got to look back on and remember. Long after that day finally ended... And it was in one of these moments of remembrance, that the realisation dawned upon me. If ever a more meaningful purpose existed for my photography; my love of capturing people, flowers or moments in time, this was it... And even though there will undoubtedly be people who will discourage you to consider a photographer at the service, I urge you not to make this mistake. To those who might call it funeral photos. I call it compassionate photography. Personally I do it to repay that kindness to family and friends. Professionally I do it as a calling. I’ve been doing it ever since...
