20/03/2022
ON BEING A LOSER!
Today, I met a childhood friend in Layyah with whom I used to play cricket. I had just finished cycling for the day.
He asked me, “Kamran, koi award bhi mila hey tumhein (Did you receive an award?)”
“Award for what?” I asked.
“Itni jo tum nay cycle chalai hey? (You have been cycling for so long!)”
“Nope.”
“Tu phir kya faida itni mehnat ka? (Then what is the use of all this hard work)?”
I smiled, said goodbye to him, and left.
That’s the necklace of shame people make us wear. They will induce fears, insecurities, and guilt in us for pursuing our dreams. In moments of darkness, such negativities become monsters. We surrender and conform to society. The fear of rejection would keep us from being ourselves and achieving our true potential.
Society will impose its criteria of success on you. It is easy to get tempted by materialistic rewards and follow the paths of millions of others. But think for a moment, who you are? What would you love to do even if there is no reward?
The path of self actualizations is laid with sharp thorns. It is a long and lonesome journey. Don’t go to seek validation and applause. You may never get it. Don’t pursue that you will be full of happiness. There will be only a few such moments.
It’s a path of suffering. But this is the path.
In those darkest moments, amidst the storm and in moments of deep vulnerability and solitude, once you take a deep breath and dive into the wild ocean of conscience, you will notice strange calmness under the current. Where everything flows with the rhythm of the universe. That’s where you belong.
Once you have crossed the pain threshold, you will know what matters in life. And once you find that rope, never let go of this. Hold on to it. It will guide you through storms and darkness to become who you are.
Coming back to the earlier conversation, how should I tell my friend that every pedal is an award; I recall all the experiences that touched my heart, some cold days, some warm days, some beautiful smiles, some acts of kindness, breathtaking vistas, and all those people who taught me something and changed the way I see the world.
Can there be a better reward than this?
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