09/20/2024
LONG POST ALERT. :)
One year. One year ago today I was cleaning my house getting ready for our November move. Pulling stuff out from under the bed, I found hidden bottle after bottle, I found them in the pantry, the bathroom, the car, my purse, they were everywhere. I finally came face to face with the massive problem I had with drinking. I had struggled before, but when my mom died I just nose dived head first into a bottle. I have done horrible things to my children, my family, my friends, my love, and most of all myself all because of drinking. But finally, after seeing all the empty bottles and remembering that just the day before I had grabbed a small vodka and chugged it before getting home so I could hide the evidence. I wasn't even drinking to enjoy it. I was drinking because I had to. It ended there. I had to make a choice to quit.
Since then, I have said no to so many situations, including new years eve's amazing party, where I had a friggin blast completely sober. It IS possible to have fun without drinking but unfortunately that seems to be what is pushed, gotta go get a drink to relax, to have fun, to calm down, to pair with food, to celebrate, to mourn.....But it doesn't have to be that way. Turns out, all of those things are so much better without it AND you get to remember them instead of waking up not remembering anything.
I could NOT have made it this far without help. From day one my daughters Autumn Raymond and Emily Raymond, Joe Fristoe, and especially some friends who have been down this journey and gave me major encouragement along the way Jess Harp, Karli Raye Michael, Maddie Michael, Casey James Michael I thank you from the deepest parts of my heart. Those are only a handful of the incredible friends that I have had encouraging me along the way. Thank you to my crew. My circle is incredible right now and I treasure each of you. I have some of the best friends I could ever ask for and I don't know how I got so lucky.