04/23/2026
I had a plan. And like most of my plansโฆ I was completely unprepared for what actually happened.
If you know me, you know I live by plan A, B, Cโready for every contingency. Or at least I think I am.
April 2nd at 10pm, I started tracking contractions. By 6am, they were a minute long and five minutes apart. We grabbed our bags, gave Dasher a treat, and headed to the birth centerโready for the unmedicated water birth I had envisioned.
For four hours, I labored, thinking I was progressing. I wasnโt. We went home.
Six hours later, the contractions were intense again, so we went back. I got in the water and kept goingโbreathing, praying, pushing through the pain. She was coming. She had to be.
After 26 hours of consistent contractions, my midwife checked me. I hadnโt progressed at all.
I was exhausted. Mentally and physically drained, knowing this could go on for hoursโor days.
Then came the stress test. After 20 minutes, my midwife told us her heart rate was high. We needed to transfer to the hospital.
We chose the closest oneโjust seven minutes awayโbut even that drive felt endless. The contractions were so intense we had to stop the truck so I could get through them.
At the hospital, they rushed me in and placed the monitors. I held Austinโs hand, listening to her heartbeat, telling myself we were okay.
Three minutes later, the doctor said we might need a C-section.
Before we could even process that, it became: โWe need to go now. Emergency C-section.โ
Everything I plannedโgone in an instant. I locked eyes with Austin and could see he knew my fear. My fear of a surgery I wasnโt prepared for.
They rushed me to surgery. Then they told me I was gonna have to go under anesthesia. I remember my panic as I squeezed Austinโs hand and feared all the worst things. Remembering when was the last time Iโd talked to my dad and brother. I couldnโt breathe. I was terrifiedโof the surgery, of being put under, of everything. My brain could not calm, my mind was spiraling. Praying I got to meet the girl we prayed for so long.
Then it was Bright lights. Oxygen mask. Voices telling me to breathe.
But I couldnโt.
They strapped my arms and legs down. I wasnโt holding Austinโs hand anymore. I was hyperventilating, and absolutely scared out of my mind. I was alone, overwhelmed, unable to catch my breath.
And then I heard him say, โYouโll be okay. I got you.โ
And I remember hearing him calmed me just enough to go under.
April 4th at 1:56am, Shiloh was bornโnot breathing. Austin watched as they worked to bring her to life. Then spent the next several hours going between two rooms for me and her.
Hours later, I woke up. I didnโt see her. I just looked at Austin. With tears in his eyes, he said, โSheโs okay.โ
Nothing has ever felt like that moment. The joy I felt and overwhelming peace I felt.
She was in the NICU with fluid in her lungs and possible infection. I had to wait hours before I could see herโbut I didnโt wait long. Four hours later, pain and all, I walked across the hall to her.
My tiny, strong five-pound girl. Covered in wiresโand absolutely perfect.
For seven days, we sat beside her, praying. So many others praying with us.
One week later, we finally held her without tubes or wiresโand brought her home.
Nothing went to plan. Except her. The dream was her and sheโs here โค๏ธ
