05/21/2026
It’s been 3 months since I posted here.
Not on purpose, but out of necessity.
You see, photographers are humans, too. Not only that, but we’re typically humans with deep emotions. We care, too much at times. Probably most times.
And while in this industry this is our superpower, that care carries into our personal lives too.
For me, the end of last year completed the hardest year and a half of my life. I lost my grandma, my grandpa, and my dad. Three of the most important people in my life, gone - two of them sudden, all of them heartbreaking.
I continued to build my business. Staying strong, pushing through, all while working another demanding full time job. Because, yeah, photography isn’t all I do.
I pushed myself to the brink. I shot bouquets while setting aside the memories of grandpa and I’s photo outings in the botanical gardens. My focus lingered on grandmas being walked to their seats, realizing mine would never attend my wedding. Trying to board a flight to shoot a wedding on the other side of the country 11 hours after I sat with my dad for his final moments. And even then, shooting a wedding three days later, chatting with the father while holding back tears. I delivered some of my best work during this time, but days were spent smiling through it and nights were spent with my face buried in my pillow, screaming at the unfairness of it all.
And finally, after holding it together for so long, I had my last wedding and I let go.
I knew I couldn’t show up with the level of care I wanted to anymore. So I stopped marketing.
I painted my house, lived in a van for a week, got a Costco membership, took up gardening, my girlfriend moved in with me (!!). I reconnected with myself and what I look like outside of just pushing through. It’s brought perspective, ease, and a reinvigorated sense of creativity.
So now I sit, loading my gear for my first wedding of the season. And after the longest pause of my business so far, I’m entering this wedding with fresh excitement and knowing that my grandma, grandpa, and dad are all cheering me on.
And yeah, sometimes I do care too much. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thanks for still being here.
