04/29/2026
I’m going to be honest, because I don’t have it in me to pretend anymore.
I am not okay.
And I think I’ve been trying to act like I am.
After Branson passed, I went right back into photography. I started booking, responding, showing up… trying to stay busy, trying to keep my mind occupied because sitting in this reality for too long feels unbearable.
But grief doesn’t work like that.
It doesn’t go away because I stay busy.
It just follows me… everywhere.
Including behind my camera.
There are moments during sessions that hit me in a way I can’t explain unless you’ve lived this.
A little boy laughing.
A baseball in his hand.
A mom looking at her child like they’re her whole world.
And instead of just seeing a beautiful moment… I feel everything I’m missing at the same time.
I carry that through the session. I carry it home with me.
And the truth is, I’m realizing this in real time.
I came back too quickly.
Not because I don’t love photography…
but because I’m trying to survive something that changed me completely. Inside and out.
And I have to be honest with myself…
I’m not mentally or emotionally in a place right now where I can give photography my all the way I once could.
And because of that, I haven’t been able to give this business or my clients the version of me they deserve.
I feel it in the backend.
The messages I don’t have the energy to answer right away.
The planning that feels heavier than it used to.
The emotional weight that comes with every session now.
And my clients deserve more than what I can give right now.
So I’m choosing to be honest about where I am instead of pushing through and pretending.
I’m not quitting photography.
But I am stepping back.
For this season, I’m going to be very selective with what I take on, only when I know I can truly show up fully.
Because photography has never just been a job to me.
I don’t just take photos… I feel them. I connect to them.
And right now, I’m still trying to figure out how to exist in this version of my life while carrying this kind of loss.
My focus has to be my family.
Being present for my kids.
Learning how to live in this heartbreak and grief, day by day.
If you’ve supported me, trusted me, or followed along, thank you. Truly.
Photography is still a part of me and it always will be.
I just need space to find my way back to it in a way that doesn’t break me in the process.
Thank you for giving me that space. 🧡
