03/04/2026
It’s been 15 years of celebrating your birthday without you here, Scotty. Fifteen years without my big brother making me laugh, grabbing my face, kissing my cheek and saying, “Hey Linny!” If I close my eyes I can still see your hands, smell your skin and hear your voice. So much has changed since you’ve been gone. Your kids have grown. You’d be so proud of them. Can you believe I became a grandma?! EJ is the cutest little guy. Dad got another Mustang. Your initials and your favorite number are the license plate. We still all laugh together as a family and genuinely love being together. We’re having pizza and a game night together tonight and we will sing Happy Birthday to you. I still wonder what things would have been like if you were still here. You were always my big brother. I’m now older than you. That feels so strange.
I photograph these night skies and I can’t help but to feel more connected to all the universe, to all who have gone before me and all I cannot see through my human eye capabilities, but are still there. This image is the Horsehead Nebula and Flame Nebula in the constellation of Orion. I cannot see them, but they surely exist. There’s a lot I cannot see that certainly exists.
I love you. I miss you. I miss your smile and your stupid sense of humor, your voices, your ridiculous cutoff shorts at the beach, your drum playing, your smile with your perfectly white straight teeth. (I have invisilign at 42) Happy birthday Bro!