09/19/2025
Mom was always “a talker”, some might even say an oversharer. But the moment she realized that her candid nature made so many people feel seen and validated in their own journeys was special to her. It motivated her to be better because she took on the responsibility of articulating so many feelings that people didn’t even know they had until they read her work. Writing became an outlet for her and a place for so many to feel so many things.
So, we might as well start from the beginning! Here’s the first “official” epiphany…
Arbitrary Epiphany #1 – Each Journey is Entirely Unique and Exactly the Same
Everybody's journey might be different, but the components of the journey are all the same....
I have said it before but I feel compelled to say it again just the same. As odd as it may seem, I never intended for My Tumor Adventure to have such a life of its own. Honestly, my very first post was probably born more of laziness than anything else because it was simply easier to post what was happening for friends and family than to make the dozens of calls after the surgery. The response to that very first post was shocking to me. I had no idea so many people would actually stop and read what I had written. Obviously, one post led to another, I threw in a few humorous anecdotes about being in the hospital, and before I knew it, The Little Tumor Adventure was born. At the time of my original handful of postings, I had no idea that the progression of this story would go on and on like it has, but here we are.
Two and a half years later I am increasingly amazed by the response and the continued support for this story. In the beginning, I received literally a zillion FB posts, texts, emails, phone calls, and private messages. Many of these were to encourage me to be tough.....push me to never give up. I got prayers, "swears", well wishes, condolences, stories to comfort me, endless offers of help.....all of it came to my Inbox and my Mailbox. As I became more and more candid with my story, I started to get more and more emails from people, friends and strangers alike, who wanted to share their own stories.....stories I didn't know they had. Some people just wanted to share, while other stories were prefaced with, or followed by advice and more encouragement. One thing I found fascinating was that so many of the stories coming to my Inbox began with "I know it isn't the same as what you are dealing with, but....." Many people wanted to discount the gravity of their own stories in the face of mine and it made me really think (God knows I have had a lot of time "to think" over the last couple of years!) about the importance of all of our stories. The common theme in so many of the letters I got was "I know it's not The Same, but...." In the end, I decided that in fact it was ALL "The Same." I have chosen to use the word Adventure for my particular story, but journey, experience, quest, mission, pursuit....they all work to describe our individual means navigation through day to day strife and hardship.
So, a thousand words later, here is my Arbitrary Epiphany #1 (sorry it took so long to get here, but by now you all know I can be long winded!). Although it is true that everybody's "Journey" might be different, the components of the journey are all the same. It doesn't matter if it is an illness, a divorce, a career change, being a care giver to someone in need, dealing with a rogue teenager, marital problems, family issues, and the list goes on and on......if you are dealing with a problem or situation that is big enough to scare you or change you or affect you irrevocably, it is made up of the same components as the journeys of others. There is fear, anxiety, uncertainty, anger, frustration. We muster strength and fortitude and then momentarily whither and crumble in the face of our Adversity and then get angry and shout obscenities, and take a big breath and put on our adult panties and muster more strength and forge ahead again. We have to factor in family and friends and our ego and our relationship with our spouse or our children. We all have to figure out how to cope and find a balance between smiling and being happy and shedding tears and being afraid of the unknown. In a nutshell, all of our stories are unique to us, but they are all comprised of the same emotions, and it is here that we share common ground. If we could just remember that we all have stepped over the same hot coals, we might all be better about showing support for one another....and that is something that you all have taught me in these last two years because I wasn't like that before. "Just toughen up" was probably my motto most of the time and there are so many situations where I could have been a better wife or mom or daughter or sister or friend or coach or whatever... I could have been more understanding or supportive, but honestly, until we have truly, truly struggled, how can we know or sympathize or empathize with those who have. Don't get me wrong - I am not suddenly going to become all "unicorns and rainbows" because that certainly isn't my MO, but through all of your stories and your support and encouragement and understanding, I have learned to be a better person by example and for that I am grateful.
This whole freaking "Adventure" is something I never would have signed on for and it will plague me and my family for the rest of our lives, but as much as I hate to admit it, it is teaching me so much....making me a better person every day and as everyone keeps jumping on my Merry Go Round I feel encouraged to keep sharing. I figure that those who are "over it" will scroll on by, but those who have committed to the ride will have interest in the mechanics of Merry Go Round and the creation of the painted ponies and their bright colors and gold trim. Thanks again to everyone who is crowding on my Merry Go Round and forcing me to stay on and have a good time in the process.
If I can just get it to slow down long enough to let on a Stellar Bartender, we would all be in really great shape!!!!
Cheers. b
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