09/11/2026
It wasn't what I initially wanted.
The bright light ahead of me. Body numb from the chest down. Arms laid out like a cross. My sweet girl cut from my belly and suddenly im a mother without ever having my baby push out of my body.
It wasn't what I wanted. But then I chose it two more times!
It was redemptive. Beautiful. Raw. Empowering. And exactly what God knew I needed.
I'll never experience what it's like to birth my child. I'll never have that golden hour. I'll never know what it's like to feel the euphoria of them leaving my body.
But I do know what it's like to give labor my everything and then to trust in the Lord when I physically couldn't continue.
I know what it's like to give up control and put my life and my baby's life in the hands of a surgeon as I watch from the table.
I know what it's like to watch my husband hold our babies for the first time, a beautiful feeling after carrying them for 9 months.
I know what it's like to chose a major surgery twice more, knowing it's the best decision for my physical and mental health.
I know what it's like to have a scar that holds the memories of answered prayers, surrender, and grace.
I've never been more proud of anything in my life.
Ps. I also hope that vertical line never fade.🥹
📸: Lindsay | Huckleberry Photo | PA Family & Newborn Photographer
Philly newborn photographer, Philly family photographer, collegeville pa, king of Prussia pa, postpartum