08/31/2017
We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. -Abraham Lincoln
Lindsay didn't have a big garden life at home, but her sweet grandfather (Papa Poe, a saint in our family), someone she thinks about every day (made evident by how often Clive has conversations w me about him; a man I never even got to meet) was a happy, humble farmer in Ripley, Mississippi. My grandpa was a farmer out in Arkansas; as was my dad. I grew up in southern California with a big garden (a farm by socal standards) and a dad who loved growing food. It wasn't a millennial, instagram garden haha -- my parents used as much of our half acre as possible and, alongside the rabbit he and i would hunt out behind the wild animal park (San Diego Safari Park now) and dumpster diving behind supermarkets, it helped sustain us through some times of poverty (as well as provide a wonderful life perspective for a kid like myself). Needless to say, lindsay and i both know the freedom that comes from being in a welcoming garden. For clive, over the last couple months, it's become one of the most fulfilling parts of his life. It's therapy. It's light and stress free. It's healing. It connects him more to his belief in God and reaffirms the idea that creation is not ours to do with what we like; but rather it is ours to protect, to preserve, and to absolutely enjoy. The responsibilities are there; but clive sees them as burdens of love (privileges) that he is happy to take on. This is allowing him to focus a little less on his (much heavier) responsibilities and focus more on the goodness and beauty of the day. While this isnt some grand fix, he's already worrying/talking less in his sleep about things (like "I need to find mama's medicine!!") and he starts every day w excitement; waiting for the light of dawn so he can go see all his garden friends. These are the plants we've accumulated in the last month. Most are struggling because i just don't have the ability to get out there and transplant them for him haha; but he's being so rad with patience. He knows I'm inside helping mama, working on my Crohn's, getting his lunch ready, etc. and only asks for help out here before school when he genuinely needs either a hand or a hug. We've been starting him on little gardens a few times over the last couple years but he never took to them much on his own. We always hoped that he'd love it eventually and I guess that time finally came haha. Alongside doing the laundry by himself now, something that is still so weird to see haha (been meaning to post a video of it!), he seems to be getting such a sense of pride and purpose from helping grow good food for his mama.
American Association of Caregiving Youth
