Joan Heiman, Writer

03/18/2026

Dear Friends,
As I finally move closer to the publication of my second memoir about the three years I lived and taught in Abu Dhabi, I am going to whet your appetite with regular posts related to the book (though not from the book). I hope you enjoy this one.

March 2026 “This obstacle – this frustrating, unfortunate, problematic, unexpected problem preventing you from doing what you want to do …. What if it wasn’t so bad?” Ryan Holiday, in his 2025 book…

03/15/2025

Sometimes, I wonder if I was given Philip as a way to gain access to my shadow. Living with his larger-than-life personality, the parts of me that my upbringing had taught me to repress were activated. In response to his stubbornness, I dug in my heels. His need to be in control prompted latent rebelliousness. My shadow included intense feelings, not-nice-girl urges, and unacceptable (to my upbringing) emotions like anger, willfulness, desire, and self-centeredness....

Sometimes, I wonder if I was given Philip as a way to gain access to my shadow. Living with his larger-than-life personality, the parts of me that my upbringing had taught me to repress were activa…

11/28/2024

A Thanksgiving Day post ... A long ago gratitude.

On a 1950s summer night in suburbia, six-year-old me was sleeping … and then I wasn’t. Rolling over into consciousness, I called, “Mom.” No answer. I was out of bed and on the move. “Dad?” Making m…

11/19/2024

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11/19/2024

I am … every day …becoming the woman who is learning to love him … without him. This is an unnerving place to land. Does it mean I am caring less? Loving less? Or does grief shift, morph, grow into something else? Of course, it does. And yet ... What has become of that other crazy woman who spent years imagining the sound of a key in the lock, the hum of a tune, and his footstep returning from that long, unannounced journey he took without my permission....

I am … every day …becoming the woman who is learning to love him … without him. This is an unnerving place to land. Does it mean I am caring less? Loving less? Or does grief shift, morph, grow into…

03/15/2024

I am, every day, astounded at how the work on the Abu Dhabi memoir goes on… and on. It has become an unintended inner pilgrimage, a project of becoming. Naively (or foolishly), I thought I had a ready-made book that simply required typing up handwritten letters I’d written from Abu Dhabi between 2009 and 2012; instead, I merely had the bare bones....

I am, every day, astounded at how the work on the Abu Dhabi memoir goes on… and on. It has become an unintended inner pilgrimage, a project of becoming. Naively (or foolishly), I thought I had a re…

11/20/2023

I just heard someone say, “One war crime does not justify another.” My reflex as a peace advocate is to agree with that statement, but something gives me pause. It starts with a grammatical issue but it doesn’t end there. The only beings on earth that perform the act of

11/19/2023

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Four+ years into working and reworking a book that’s changed its name, its purpose, and its structure more times than I like to count, I’ve recently been startled to find the same words showing up …

08/08/2023

“This is the secret of life: to be non-serious but absolutely involved.” ~Sadhguru These words continue to remind me of the line from T.S. Eliot’s poem, “Ash Wednesday: To care and not to care. This line lives in me. I found it in letters I wrote between 2009 and 2012 when I was struggling to adapt to life in the Middle East....

 “This is the secret of life: to be non-serious but absolutely involved.” ~Sadhguru These words continue to remind me of the line from T.S. Eliot’s poem, “Ash Wednesday: To care and not to car…

03/15/2023

Remembering Philip eight years on, childlike joy still comes first to mind. Still scaling trees (in his 60s) in search of fruit. Recklessly befriending a teenage alligator. Running sideways and bac…