02/15/2023
I need to start thinning out.
Now, before you get your panties all up in a bunch, just hear me out.
Last fall, I wanted to take a shot at growing carrots. I took the seeds and liberally threw them into mini handmade trenches in three different gardens alongside other seeds and baby plants. When they started to sprout, I read that I would need to start thinning them out, allowing the strongest ones to have enough room to grow to their full potential.
However, I poured so much of my heart, time and energy into each and every one of them. I wanted to keep and nourish each one that I had covered with soil, watered and watched daily until their little heads popped up and sprouted leaves. I wanted to savor each one that I fed worm castings and fertilizer to and all of the ones that I plucked miniature snails from that were hiding in their beds. Now that I think about it, I probably would have sung them lullabies as the sun went down if I had thought about it.
Life rushed on and after 3 months, we attempted to pull our first carrot from the only garden that I had to water myself, because it wasn’t part of the irrigation. Although it was a beautiful deep purple and quite tasty, it turned out not to be much bigger than my pinkie.
I was unwilling to sacrifice any of them, because I wanted ALL of them. Which turned out to be a huge mistake.
I have an unusual … zest… for life, or “intensity” as I have been recently told. I get excited easily and love to plant all the new ideas, challenges and experiences that I come across. I say YES to everything, not just because I WANT to, but because I legitimately think I CAN, running from each new seed to the next, without truly giving the most important ones the room for growth. Each “yes” becoming overcrowded by the other - fighting for the same space, sun & water.
“I don’t know how you do it.”
I have heard this phrase so many times over the last three years, sometimes multiple times in one week. And to be honest? I’m not quite sure how I have been either. I love every new seed I have planted, but I can surely tell you this:
It’s not working.
I have spent the last few months slowly thinning out my carrots, one by one. It has been really hard to choose which ones to let go of, but I have been able to identify which of those carrots deserve to grow to their full potential. And guess which one needs the most room?
Mine.
A few days ago, I pulled a carrot from another garden in the opposite corner of the backyard. What emerged from the ground was really pitiful – barely a visible root to be seen. And that’s when I realized – it wasn’t getting enough sunlight. I was so focused on the other garden and how those carrots were growing that I didn’t even think to check the ones that had been on autopilot for so long.
As I’ve been redirecting my focus and creating more room to breathe for myself, I’m seeing the rewards naturally come together in the growth of the things that really deserve the room for their best potential, such as:
My relationship with God
My marriage.
My littles.
Our homeschool.
My mental and physical health.
It has been really hard to set aside my photography for the foreseeable future because I seriously love every one of my clients, or as I see it, my friends. Thank you for trusting me with your families for the last 5 years!
I’ll let you know when it’s planting season again. I love those carrots too much to let them go forever.
Photo Credit: Morgan @ Prickly Pear Photography, LLC
Edited By: Me
