03/20/2019
There is a lot of noise around weddings. Your ceremony is about the world two people created by coming together. Ideally, it celebrates and reflects that world. I love the idea of finding quiet to reveal some clarity and meaning. Hopefully this post helps you put some noise-canceling headphones on your brain so that you can plan the glorious, happy-ass time you deserve!
This might sound like heavy-lifting but it‘s actually pretty simple. Try to get still and tap into what would make you feel really amazing on that day. The process could also begin by identifying what would make you feel a bit alienated, frustrated, or generally bummed out. What would be sad to leave out or not speak of?
What happens next might be a quiet shift— not necessarily an earth-shattering one. Your wedding should just not obscure or obfuscate who you are or want to be. It should put all that on a beautiful, badass platter and serve it up like the delicious treat it is! Are you a pizza slice? An ice cream cake? Poke bowls? Exotic vegan charcuterie board? Corny food analogies aside, this party can represent your ties to love, lineage, culture, spirituality, and/or community. Maybe you realize through this process that all you don’t want to have a banquet hall blowout with your parent’s neighbors and co-workers because nature is what makes you feel connected to your sense of awe and wonder. Maybe you realize that you really just want a couple of your favorite dogs to be running around while your cousin officiates on the beach you played on as kids.
You can create meaningful traditions from the same place emotionally and intellectually that you share with your partner in everyday life much more easily once all the clutter is brushed away. I like the thought of KonMari-ing not for throwing things away so much as for what it leaves behind.
Thanks, Catalyst for providing the space to talk about it (and for being, generally, the absolute best). I know that we both look forward to hearing all of your stories.
Given all of the pressure from family, friends, and society to have a “perfect” wedding, saying goodbye to these traditions is easier said than done. That’s why it is so important to find wedding vendors who will share your values and help you take the patriarchal, sexist, and racist ideas abo...