09/01/2026
Dear Madison,
For the next 10 days, I am officially off leash.
You’re in Scotland, I have the passwords, and I now have a very small window to do every single thing I’ve suggested over the years that you immediately rejected for being “too cringe.”
This is not revenge. This is creative freedom with zero adult supervision.
Could I use this opportunity to become edgy and controversial? Sure. But that sounds exhausting. I’d much rather weaponize secondhand embarrassment, questionable dance moves, unnecessary confidence, and the unchecked optimism of a Sagittarius woman who has been told “absolutely not” one too many times.
So enjoy your vacation, sweetheart
***ir
