The Anxious Adventurer

06/02/2020

04/28/2020

Our trip to Tonga to swim with whales was 6 years in the making. I daydreamed about it constantly on my commute to work. I would put a particular song on repeat and imagine the magical moments we were sure to experience unfold like a music video. It was a powerful exercise for me to will it to fruition.

What’s really interesting in my obsession with making this dream come true - to swim in the deep and wide open ocean with humpback whales - is that I have a legit phobia of being on the surface in open water. I don’t even like being in backyard swimming pools by myself! I have real panic attacks. Haha

It’s not a swimming issue. I was on swim team. It’s not even an “ocean” issue because I SCUBA dive. It’s specifically being on the surface of a large body of water. (For example, I hyperventilate when floating and waiting for the line to pull taut when I’m waterskiing)

Well.... what I can tell you is that knowing this about myself I had a lot to overcome. My desire to conquer my silly fear for this experience of a lifetime was an experience in and of itself. I am so proud of my accomplishment. I spent a week in the ocean and now I miss it!

Where I used to feel panic considering the fact that when you enter a deep body of water you can technically keep on “slipping down” because there is “no bottom”, I now miss the sensation of floating on the surface, suspended, almost like you’re in gelatin...

Where I was once anxious about not being able to see what is under the surface, now I long for the pleasure of watching light rays dance through the blue depths...

I miss the vastness of it, which is all so weird because that is the epitome of what totally freaked me out before!

Was I still pretty nervous before drop ins? Yeah. But I miss that feeling of being nervous and doing it anyways. The rush of facing a debilitating fear face-on all-in... Literally jumping in the deep end!

I miss the sensation.

04/27/2020

I need a beach...

04/25/2020

Here’s one that someone got of me! So incredibly grateful! Because I focused my trip on the experience and improving my photography skills that meant that I never thought to pose for a picture with the whales myself. Not even a selfie!

Luckily, had my back and Tris Sheen snapped this little memory for me. On this one swim I didn’t take my big kit in the water. I intended to just soak in the moment “organically” but my urge to also be creative and build up my roll of footage for my travelogue and film festival entry won out. I couldn’t help myself and borrowed the GoPro from Ryan.

This was the coolest swim in more shallow waters so the images have gorgeous contrast. The male es**rt was singing and the trio hung around for a little bit so we got lots of different shots of them cruising around.

I truly, deeply, miss being in the water.

04/23/2020

I haven't yet found the sufficient words to remotely describe the feeling of swimming with these giants, so bear with me. I think that will come with time on my blog.

I can tell you though how proud I am with how far I'm coming with my photography. The challenge was enormous but thankfully I had support from new friends and mentors who gave me guidance along the way.

I invested a lot in this project, both time and money, because it was very important to me. It lights me up whenever I think about my time in the water and I'm inspired to go back again and again. How can I continue to pursue this passion for both the ocean and photography especially while travel is limited?

My plan now is to get organized and work on some land-based fundamentals. I just want to keep improving and find my niche.

04/22/2020

Rising from the dark depths for this in this crazy Covid world. I have been remiss for many reasons and haven’t shared my travel stories or photography on Instagram for too long. But all this quarantine time at home lends to editing and organizing catalogs of photos and journals. And so this is my first post back of many.

Earth Day was always special to me as a kid. I was in the “Earth Club” and even framed my certificate and hung it on the wall. School used to revolve around special days such as this with lessons and art projects but it’s easy to forget these occasions as an adult.

I feel encouraged that the Earth has gotten a little breather under the circumstances. It doesn’t matter what news you subscribe to or ‘phony photos’ you want to debunk. It’s hard to argue that the decreased production and consumption, driving and traveling, using and abusing, and all the other reduced destructive human activities won’t show us what COULD BE.

I pray that human kind doesn’t return from this event and go back to business as usual. So here’s to HOPE, on this Earth Day, where the world has been shown a glimpse of the impact we have had and the progress that can be made.

I took this photo of a young humpback in this past fall on the trip of a lifetime. Those close to me have seen some of the pictures on Facebook but this black and white portrait is brand new. I have so much to share about the experience and will endeavor to do that story justice later, but for now I will just let this picture do the talking.

08/08/2019

Share your Roman Spanish Steps photos in the comments if you have one!

Glad Ryan and I got ours in last year. We took our Spanish Steps photo at 1:00 am while we were doing some serious galavanting around Rome with the 4 new friends we made along the way. We spent all night with our new British friends from dinner and the two Roman boys they picked up (and I mean, "picked up") drunk in a crowd near the Trevi fountain. What an unexpected sightseeing night that was. So glad we got some pictures.

02/14/2019

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing,
my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world,
my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and
whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky
of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope
or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder
that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
(i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings

02/09/2019

to the max this weekend. Spent some much needed quality time with the hubby on a quick little getaway to . Watched my hunk of a man speed around in a 488 GTB (not pictured here - this was my choice, the Lambo) and lost my mind. It was way hotter than I expected to watch him zoom around the track (and it was cold outside)! Fun times and highly recommend it. You don't always have to go far but you gotta get there fast! @ Exotics Racing

02/07/2019

I live for the wonder of exploring the unknown, a faraway land, something remote and provoking. I can go by myself, meet new friends or go with my favorite people - I just have to go. I'm reminiscing about this unexpected transformative experience I had in (Paradise Valley) with new friends and just a tad bummed I'm not with one of them again now... The remarkable person that took this photo is currently on a shake-your-bum-service-trip ( ) in El Salvador and I wish I was with her!!! I had the chance to be there and in atypical fashion I made the decision to stay stateside for this one. I'm kicking myself now. How many times have we let opportunities pass us by? We usually never realize them but this time I do. Wah wah. THAT BEING SAID - I will make the most of it and focus on me and my husband for a little weekend getaway to lift my spirits.

01/31/2019

I am beginning to see more opportunities in my travels for photographing the locals. Slowly, I am becoming more comfortable with capturing moments of strangers. In doing so you get to talk and often laugh. I do keep coins in my pocket when the expectation for a small fee becomes apparent, like it did here. What I am still debating is my aesthetic. What do you guys like better in this case? The vibrant colorful version or the soft black and white? I think the colors take you to a place but he b&w enhances their smiles and the moment more... I'd love any feedback I can get. @ Marrakech old Medina

01/29/2019

Just got a series of photos from my awesome friend and talented photographer, , from our trip through . I love candid shots like this. I'm so often behind the lens that there are relatively few pictures of myself traveling that I didn't have to solicit. So thank you, Katie, for capturing this ordinary-extraordinary moment of looking back at a new friend (you!) and being happy and somewhere new! Literally all my favorite things!