03/11/2019
Reposting b/c I resonate deeply; Striving for harmony, and hoping to connect with people on the same frequency.
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Self awareness allows us to take responsibility for our behaviours and actions - this relieves a huge amount of pressure on our relationships.
In codependent relationships, we often play the blame game, with each person fighting to be βrightβ about their position.
This traps us in a loop of two egos battling one another, attempting to get what they want with a strategy that will never work.
In order to resolve conflict we have to ask ourselves whats more important: do we want to be right or do we want harmony?
Can we let go, hold space and allow the other person to feel seen, heard and understood?
This gift of extension, also known as being the "long arm" in the relationship, moves us towards compassion and a shared understanding.
Commonly, when one person drops their guard and moves towards tenderness, an opening occurs for both.
It is through moving into our hearts and embracing our vulnerabilities that we embody love, and thusly, experience it around us.
The hurt child in you may feel righteous, indignant and unwilling to let go - this is normal.
You may have needs that are left unmet in that moment, you may still require the other to also extend towards you in order to feel safe moving forward.
And, if you find yourself the only one in a relationship who is capable or willing of this act of compassion, it might be wise to consider a relationship reorientation.
Yet, those needs, that safety, is only something that you can truly provide yourself - and when we do, the possibilities for compassion and healthy relationships are endless.
Words
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