09/03/2026
"Ok, I’m going to try to do this tear-dimmed eyes and all. My cousin recently gave me a memory stick he’s had since Hannah’s birth. It contains videos and images from that day, in addition to some images of us that were from a super old iPhone backup that had crashed. I haven’t seen these since she was born, which will be 10 years this coming April 30th.
FB, for whatever reason, won’t allow me to post both videos and images in the same post on my biz page, so videos will have to come on Thursday. As I said the other day, this is beyond painful to relive. So I’m going to share in doses and as ‘in order’ as I can.
I’ve NEVER shared images of inside our hospital room or my [then] husband. You know, you think after something tragic and years of thinking you’ve healed, telling yourself, “I’m ok now, I’ve got this,” that seeing these images and videos wouldn’t affect you all that much…but it does.
In the moments in the hospital room, which you’ll see on video soon, I didn’t understand the change in his demeanor. I just assumed it was because he was a proud 1st-time dad to his new daughter and was emotional. Now, of course, after everything that happened, I can clearly see what was going on, but we’ll get to that later. It's hard to watch.
And even after that video, there’s a bombshell coming that’s in the present tense, and I’m not so sure if you guys will be prepared for that one…I’m pretty sure the world will be crying happy tears with us, so just hang tight. (INSERT:This was eluding to Hannah about to be meeting someone very special, NOT her dad, someone else;)
For now, this was my husband in these images. And to understand the stark contrast of who he was BEFORE she was officially diagnosed with DS, I have to speak about the person he was when I married him pre-diagnosis.
Quite honestly, this is hard to talk about because it requires me to say ‘nice things,’ which is hard to do after everything that happened, but I've healed a lot since then and grown, and prayed for myself to be able to forgive, and I'm getting there. And if I’m going to be transparent and show you both sides of the coin to get my point across of why it's SO IMPORTANT to advocate and educate the world on the truth of DS, then I just have to bite the leather, so to speak, and do it.
My husband was charming, kind, attentive, funny, creative, romantic, handsome (former Abercrombie & Fitch model—his nickname in Hawaii was ‘Superman’). He was the guy every lady wanted, but he only had eyes for me, and I was smitten.
He never let his eyes wander and was totally fixated on who he had right in front of him as if no one else in the world existed, making me blush even in our marriage long after the ‘honeymoon’ phase had ended. He bragged on me for the silliest things every chance he got. He was healthy, happy, driven, and successful in his career. All he was missing was the white horse. He was what fairytales were made of.
After I became pregnant, he would sing to Hannah all the time and talk to her in my tummy (those videos coming soon). He would make up songs and sing in public; he didn’t care. He was proud of the little girl he’d soon be teaching how to play ball and dance with and show off.
He held my hair back during morning sickness days and wouldn’t let me cook anything and wanted me to ‘rest for the baby.’ He brought me breakfast in bed, massaged my back when HG put pressure on me, and on the list goes.
Again, the images here are BEFORE her Trisomy 21 diagnosis.
But guys, what a difference an extra chromosome can make for some people. And it’s because of the negativity surrounding the diagnosis. It’s bc of things like the horrible way a lot of medical staff deliver the news like a death sentence. It’s bc of what some saw in schools growing up with kids like mine being called the ‘R-word.’
It’s because of the false info on Google and WebMD and the horrible ugly sketches that come up when you Google what people with DS look like that look NOTHING like our gorgeous angel-eyed kids. It’s because of so many things that need to change when delivering the news to parents.
It’s because of lack of education and lack of inclusion in most schools, society, lack of being able to have meaningful employment interacting with the public like everyone else, basic human rights, and the list goes on.
So yeah, my “WHY” behind my brand here is POWERFUL. It’s not just stunning portraits of people who are abled differently, it’s a battle cry for the world to see them through the lens of Jesus as worthy of life too.
Various versions of our story happen to parents every day. One or the other leaves…the statistics say 50% of the time. It’s common and it shouldn’t be. These children deserve BOTH parents.
My daughter deserved a dad, but here we are almost a decade later without one. I have to show up for both roles no matter how tired or busy. And getting a half version of each is certainly not the same as her actually getting the opportunity to be a ‘daddy’s girl’ and get 100% of both parents, but I’m trying.
It’s heartbreaking because she could’ve had the version of him in the images here, and in the videos I’ll post soon, but that’s not the version she got.
Welcome to my "WHY."
If you didn't know why Paperdolls Photography exist, you will in the following days as I try to unpack this in order to educate and advocate for our kids.
I’ll stop here for now. Next Part coming soon." (Part 1 reposting from March 2024:)
This is part of the story behind my upcoming Memoir Trilogy, STATTERED TO PEACE...Book One, FIRST FRACTURES. If you'd like to be notified about its release date simply add yourself to the announcement list here:
https://mailchi.mp/953df9734045/shatteredtopeace
Stephanie Mullowney
UPDATE:I am floored by the response from hundreds of you over the passed couple of days with the rough cut, tip of the iceberg version of our story. I had no idea that sharing our story was going to have the impact it been having over the past couple of days with only a couple of small parts of it. But just about every other comment is of you all asking me to write a book (and even a few of you saying to make a film). Of course a book would make more sense and be much easier to read and keep up with than a fb post since the algorithms here only show post to about 1% of followers, so alot is getting missed. I am blown away by the hundreds of you and your comments and messages, sharing your own journey's and offering an encouraging word. I've cried reading through your comments on just the very short Cliffs-notes version of the 3 parts I've shared so far. You all have offered so much comfort and support with showing me you're similar stories and that you not only survived but are thriving. Many of you may not know that I have an unrelated book on track to be released later this year by the former VP of Thomas Nelson International. It's a coffee table book of advocacy featuring many of the extraordinary children and adults I've photographed over the years. BUT with such a demand for our story to be a book as well, I'm going to have a meeting with my Publisher and see if we can't get this one released first, otherwise if I can't do a 'book switch out' since there's already a contract for the other one then I will just have to do that one right afterwards;) You guys please pray for me and I write the full version of our story as it's both painful and healing. However I know that just the small amount that's been shared thus far has touched so many hearts already. You've gotten a few highlights but no where near the full spectrum of events.You guys. I've had so many messages from so many of you saying how our journey has helped you yourselves heal knowing you're not alone. So Due to the overwhelming number of request for me to write a book about our story, I've prayerfully decided to do that. Simply add your email address to this book release info list to get updates on the books release date. Please pray for me as I try to tearfully relive our journey and put it into words that will fearlessly and relentlessly advocate the TRUTH about those with Trisomy 21 and educate the world on the immense worth and purpose God created them for. I am so grateful for you all.
