10/03/2019
A few months ago I had the pleasure of photographing Bob Dettmer for 24 hours for . Bob is fogged in by Alzheimer’s and unsteady from Parkinson’s. He requires a home health aide, Marjorie Salmon, but the term does not begin to encompass her duties. As ’s article said, “She is social worker, housekeeper, behavioral-modification expert, dietitian, diaper changer, day planner, de facto case manager, warden and more.”
Throughout the 24 hours, Bob would forget who I was, why I was there. He would smile at me and give me a curious look, sometimes confused. He would yell at Marjorie for letting me see him when he wasn’t at his best.
It was one of the most impactful assignments I’ve ever had. I was deeply moved by both Marjorie’s compassion and Bob’s polite manor. As photojournalists we try not to impact any situation to the best of our abilities. For some of the time I was there, he thought I was an ex girlfriend named Diane. Marjorie would say “I have never seen him smile this much.” It was such a bittersweet feeling. On one hand I didn’t want him to act any differently than he normally did. But on the other it brought me joy to see this man smile and laugh, even flirt a little- in an innocent way. Majorie would say, “Sometimes he’s not living, he’s just existing.”
Dementia and Alzheimer’s are diseases that take so much from so many. That day, I was so happy to share with them, see him smile, be so comfortable with me, a complete stranger that to him was a friendly memory from another time.