03/12/2024
“A Mothers Grief”
19 years ago, my beloved Louisa
you had to let go, of the breath of life that God
has given to all.
I distinctively remember you gesturing for something to write with, and so I give you a pen,
and you proceeded to express that you wanted to live.
Oh my God how that tortured me from inside,
It’s like my heart exploded in that moment in time!
I looked in your eyes, what could I say, except don’t worry honey, Mom is here, I won’t ever leave your side.
But deep down I knew that this would turn out to be a parents worst nightmare ready to unfold,
and it would be something that I would not be able to control.
And so it is, you fell asleep in death as mommy laid by your side, you went into a deep rest.
Oh how my heart just yearns for you, I wish that you were here, so I could hold you near, because you see, my dear, when you left you took a part of me, and although it has been years, I have had no rest.
I’ve never been the same, for I just can’t claim the person that I used to be…
I can’t help but think how sad you would be if you were here to see your Dad and me.
For now he, too, is fighting like you, and although the situation is different in some ways, Cancer has no mercy on those that it claims.
Louisa, Louisa, how beautiful you were, mommy misses you even though so much time has gone by, you’re still a part of me inside, and always will be, until the day I die.
Oh a mothers grief, no one could really understand, unless you’ve been there my friend, So please don’t judge me now, and say “Don’t cry the time is coming soon when you will see your girl again”
I have no doubt that that will take place, it’s part of God‘s mercy and his loving grace, yes when the resurrection takes place, I know I will see Louisa‘s smiling face.
But until that day comes, I will continue to yearn, because no matter what hope we have,
There is nothing that can take away a Mothers Grief.
Love you Louisa❤️😭
