09/09/2019
Young and lost
Here we are in the third week of the semester and itās all starting to fall apart. The major I chose just isnāt working out. For the last four years of my life I thought computer science was what I wanted to do. Since the beginning of high school I thought that going to college for something that drew so much awe and admiration from people around me was my endgame. As amazing as the five seconds of gasping and raised eyebrows and āwowsā I got when I told people what my major was felt, Iāve been miserable in my actual coursework. Practice outside of the classroom is the best way to get the most out of any instruction and I couldnāt bring myself to code for several hours a day. On the other hand, staying up late into the night to edit one set of photos and deliver them to a happy client is my version of hitting a home run.
This semester I had the pleasure of living with a wonderful roommate from Russia who is madly in love with math and getting to know him was an invaluable experience. All my life Iāve struggled with math and no matter what I couldnāt see the beauty of it the way he could. Funny enough he never understood why I loved taking photos so much either. Itās thanks to him that I realized how valuable human diversity is. The reason society functions so well is because everyone is different. People who have the gift to see math for the magnificent creature it is have their place and someone like me who feels at the height of his existence with a camera in his hands has his place too.
God willing Iāll make it through this semester and end up switching my major to something media related that brings me real fulfillment. Worst case scenario I end up dropping out of college and thatās still okay. Iām still in the first quarter of my life and nowhere near halftime. Life is a long marathon. I know lots of people like my parents and my friendsā parents want to judge me based on what Iām doing right now at 19-20 years old but that doesnāt bother me because I also know that at 40 Iāll still feel just as young and just as lost. @ Orlando, Florida