06/04/2026
The Lesson Big Boy Taught Me
This post will be long. More like a college thesis than a Facebook post. It will be full of introspection, vulnerability and touchy feely stuff like that. I'm also painfully aware that it will probably sound overly dramatic. Not my intention, but I feel like I have to say what I have to say. And who knows? Maybe some of you will feel the same way after a little introspection of your own. Even so, I know that's not some peoples' “thing,” so if you don't care to read all of that, here's what you need to know in a nutshell... Oshkosh Rails will be going dark in the short term. And that might become a permanent thing. I don't know, and I didn't want to just disappear without saying anything. I SURE wanted to take the time to say “thank you” to everyone who has supported me through the last couple years! If you care to hear my thoughts on why I'm going dark, keep reading. If not, I understand. Thanks again!
I want to qualify this post by saying that I'm NOT fishing for attention, likes, comments or anything else. As a matter of fact, that's really the point of all this. I just feel like those of you who follow me; ESPECIALLY those of you who have been with me since the beginning might want/deserve an explanation. Well, maybe not DESERVE, but would like to know, I guess.
When I started the Oshkosh Rails page a couple years ago, it started as a place to park what was quickly becoming a daily stream of railroad images as I dove head-first into trains. I quickly felt like I was starting to irritate my friends and family with non-stop train photos. So I created my page. I also felt like it would make it easier to find a community of like-minded people. It did. But 100 followers turned into 500. Soon enough, 500 turned into 1000. And Facebook started dangling the monetization carrot in front of my face. Pretty soon, I fell into “the trap.” Suddenly, my page was less about parking my photos, and more about drooling over the number of followers I have. Being careful about what I say or post so I don't offend anyone. Putting pressure on myself to try and remember to post daily. Watching rail cams all day looking for the next “score” while also caring for a disabled wife and trying to run a household. I didn't notice how it became less of HOBBY that I enjoyed here and there, and more of a responsibility. Another chore. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy sitting at the tracks and taking the photos! It's a nice break from my responsibilities at home. But there was the pressure of getting home, immediately editing the photos, and getting them on Facebook ASAP. And when I didn't, I felt like I was failing. The other thing about this that is even worse is that it has come to my attention that the REASON I've been putting so much time and effort into all this is because I've been looking for validation. I post some cool photos, you guys like it, love it, comment on it, share it, and I feel like I really did something and got your approval. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not ok with that. I absolutely appreciate appreciation like anyone else. But when I'm enjoying the validation more than how the train made my chest rumble, and made the ground move under my feet, that's a problem for me. I shared space with the Big Boy steam locomotive the day before yesterday in four different locations, but I didn't SEE it. I didn't fully experience it. I was more worried about getting photos and videos to post on my social media for all of you to validate me and my work. It took watching my wife looking at my photos and videos last night with the 5% vision she has left to slap me in the face and wake me up. With her “5%” as we affectionately call it, SHE was the one who noticed Big Boy's lines, curves and rivet patterns. SHE'S the one who noticed how powerful, yet graceful it is. What an engineering marvel it was and still is. She's the one who dreamed of having one of those photos on the wall of our home. Not me. I was busy wondering how many people saw it, liked/loved it, and what kind of wonderful things they had to about the photos and video. I lost my hobby, and I turned it into a job. So...I'm going back to find it. Back when I didn't post the trains. Back when I was present in the moment to see the trains, feel the trains, and appreciate them in the moment. Back when I could take a photo for my own purposes, and not for everyone else (again, no offense intended). Back when I could still see the train better than my blind wife. So...while I WILL still be rail-side, it will be less often than I have been. And when I DO go rail-side, I won't be posting my photos or video. Again, definitely in the short term as I get myself back together; and maybe forever. I don't know right now. But again, I appreciate you all! Thank you for being here with me! For those of you who know how to contact me off the page, I hope you do! Especially if you just want to let me know how you've been doing! For the rest of you, I encourage you to remember why you do this hobby, and to not get lost in the social media/validation part of things. You don't need social media to validate your love for trains or anything else you do. Most of all, be well, and I hope to see you at the tracks!
