09/23/2020
Pretty much accurate: lol
My photog friends will feel this in their bones :
“Hey girrrrrl!!!! I know it’s super last minute but can you squeeze us in for family photos sometime between Friday and Saturday? My husband doesn’t get off work until 5:30 and I know it gets dark at 5:45 so he will come straight from work and never make eye contact with you . If it gets dark while we are there you can just photoshop the sun in or something. I literally only need one photo for a Christmas card . Literally. I only need one photo ! Of course none of my children will look at you at the same time but I WILL yell at them so my mouth will be open in some and I will look constipated... but I only need one photo so don’t take the photo at that particular time . I also like candid photos where people are laughing but my family does not laugh . I just need the one photo. Do you offer a discount since I only need that one ? Since it’s so last minute can I get a deal ? I’m sure you had no plans and have free babysitters at your beck and call . I am also related to someone who was once in the military- not sure if that helps . Or I could hook you up with some fantastic tickets to a charity gala I’m in charge of that is very fancy but you probably won’t fit in . It should be great - I donated a yeti cooler we had sitting around so you may have a chance of winning that too. I will also tell all of my friends who took my photos so that they too can ask for just one photo at a discounted rate . I will tag you in every online yard sale site where someone asks for a photographer “who doesn’t charge an arm or a leg”. Oh! Also I just had lasik -where I did not ask for a discount - so I may be squinty and will need you to make my eyes big - somewhere between Beyoncé and a bratz doll . And I bought this great dress- where I also did not ask for a discount because I saw the price tag and that’s how I knew that was the price before I bought it . Anyway, Can you make it snow ? If not can you completely desaturate the greens to make it look like snow ? I can bring my mother in law who can throw some snow at us in the one photo . But then she might want to be in it but you can just fake take a picture . No rush on getting these photos back to us but I will text you the next morning , ten minutes before your alarm goes off, and ask for a sneak peak . Ok girlie girl . Just let me know what we can work out . Thaaaanks
🤣😂😝😜🤪