05/12/2021
I feel that a major part of my job as a parent is to remind my children that things are rarely so black and white. For instance, my kids are obsessed with knowing what/who is good or bad. “A school bully is BAD”. When I hear things like that, my brain begins to twitch and I know that I must stop what I’m doing to have a conversation with them. “Maybe bullying is bad, but it doesn’t make that kid bad.” So we go into reasons as to why this particular kid may feel the need to be mean. As I start listing off reasons, the kids get excited to add their ideas of why a kid might be mean to others and everything begins to click for them. I could tell they were truly feeling for this fictional kid. This new understanding lead to problem solving ideas and all of a sudden their view on bullying changed completely. Their little minds got flipped turned upside down as it was putting in the work.
I have met many adults who still live as if everything is so black and white, so clear, so left or right. I feel for them because I believe that kind of mindset and blindness is based out of fear… and maybe laziness. It’s easier when things/people/situations are so neatly defined and labeled. Unfortunately, that is not reality and if I can raise my own to know the importance of putting in the work, wondering “why”, of having more consideration, compassion, and understanding… then I think they will be better equipped to face life as true appreciators of... life.
At least, that’s my take on things. I’m still learning my way through parenting young children. Every now and then I get one thing right, but that’s usually after getting ten things wrong. That’s the beauty of raising kids. Letting them witness us struggle and thrive interchangeably while loving them unconditionally.
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