09/06/2026
My daughter was 1 when a post went viral by Jessica Kirkland, a Virginia mom of two girls.
“As for my girls, I’ll raise them to think they breathe fire,” Kirkland wrote in a fury.
Kirkland was responding to the news Josh Duggar had molested his younger sisters and had been caught on a hookup site for married people who want to cheat.
Kirkland’s phrase has been a mantra for me in the 11 years since that post went viral. It’s been a guiding force, leading me out of my own religious upbringing, to unpack the internalized misogyny I was raised in. To rage and to write and to light a fire for other moms along the path to liberation for themselves and their daughters.
It’s what I think about when I hear stories like Mica Miller’s.
Mica was expected to be chaste and wholesome, despite what her husband was doing. John-Paul “JP” Miller, Mica’s husband, demanded s*x from her multiple times per day and still cheated on her. He preached sermon after sermon about how wives must keep their husbands faithful by fulfilling their s*xual needs.
JP tied his wife’s spiritual sanctity to his s*xual gratification. He isolated her, under medicated her, stole her freedom, manipulated her, sullied her reputation. All of those things ARE abuse.
Patriarchy keeps women trapped in a world where the unacceptable known is somehow less terrifying than stepping out into the terrifying unknown.
If you believe we have to teach our daughters to be biblical women, teach them to be Rahab, who was comfortable lying to authorities.
Teach them to be Ruth, who couldn’t wait to escape her hometown and experience something new.
Teach them to be Deborah, whose judgment led to military victory.
Teach them to be a Modern Jezebel.
