06/11/2026
May marked a huge before and after in my life. On May 17, 2026, my momma passed away unexpectedly.
Two days later, I chopped 5.5 inches off my hair and it was a welcome change from the last time I did it two hours before my dad's funeral in 2016.
I am a numbers girl. The numbers are fact. They won't change. At the very least, can always count on numbers to make sense when I am struggling to make sense of anything and everything else.
My mom passed away exactly 9 years and 9 months after my dad did.
My dad died 1 month and 1 day after his 58th birthday. He was born in 1958. My mom died 1 month and 1 day before her 63rd birthday. She was born in 1963.
I don't know what the numbers have to do with anything, the symbolism, the finality of everything. But right now, the numbers are comforting when everything else feels upside down with grief.
I am relearning how to do life all over again. My mom was my rock when my dad died, and now have to learn how to live without her, too. Losing her is also ripping at the scar tissue of losing my dad almost a decade later.
It feels daunting and impossible right now, living with this insurmountable grief. But I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, in joy and laughter and friendship and the family I have left. That is what will buoy me through this unimaginable loss.
I have to hold onto that if nothing else.
Things might be mum from me for a while around here. I'm not sure where my grief will take me, but I know it will always lead me back to chasing the joy with a camera in hand in one way or another.
