08/31/2026
Back in my mid-20s, I worked for the Wyoming Association of Conservation Districts. Our supervisors were a fun bunch who were passionate about ag and conservation, but also knew how to have a good time.
One night during our annual meeting, we were all having such a great time, I lost track of how many Zimas I drank. I was yapping and dancing and paying no attention to how many times our board members would sashay by and replace my drink with a new one.
(It was too many times, for the record. Way too many times.)
Apparently I looked as awful as I felt the next day. During one of the presentations, I had to jump up, abandon my Power Point clicking duties and flee for the bathroom.
My boss happened to be on stage and said something like "Who had money on T losing her breakfast before 10:30?"
To make matters worse, they all applauded when I tried to slink back into the room. I even got a mention at the banquet later that night.
I was so embarrassed. Everyone else thought it was hilarious and they good-naturedly teased me about it my entire tenure.
But it was a lesson I took to heart. I hardly ever drink at all, and I NEVER drink when I'm working.
Yesterday while I was shooting a wedding, I decided I needed a little non-alcoholic pick me up. It was hot, humid and I was about 10 hours into a 12 hour day.
I saw the bar was serving Dirty Dr. Pepper. It sounded absoutely delightful.
I ordered one, slid my $6 across to the bartender and knocked two slugs of it back expecting ice cold Dr. Pepper and Vanilla Cream. You know, like the ones that are all the rage at the fast food joints now. LIke what A.J.s serves under a different name.
It was not cream.
It was NOT CREAM.
Y’all, the sound I made when the alcohol hit my throat was somewhere between a startled donkey and a T. rex with his tiny arm caught in a garbage disposal. I coughed, choked and then snorted whatever the heck it was (spiced rum? whiskey?) out my nose.
And that is how my decades-long streak of professional sobriety ended with me honking alcohol out my nose at a wedding.
Dirty Dr. Pepper my foot. That thing was flat out malicious.
