Ilan Wittenberg Photographer

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Ilan Wittenberg Photographer Master of Portrait Photography.
2021, 2020, 2018, 2016 & 2015 Auckland Photographer of the Year

"I'm really fascinated by history. On a personal note, I recently revisited the place where my mother grew up in Northla...
15/04/2025

"I'm really fascinated by history. On a personal note, I recently revisited the place where my mother grew up in Northland. She comes from a Māori family, particularly the Ngāti Whātua iwi, and although she had a strong connection to that heritage, she hadn’t spoken much about it, especially regarding her father's involvement in the Māori Battalion during World War II. She spoke fluent Māori, yet our family discussions rarely touched on that cultural side.

Earlier this year, I spontaneously traveled back to where my mother's family has lived for hundreds of years. I began talking to some relatives still in the area and started to feel a stronger connection to my family history for the first time. I recognized parallels between these fascinating historical places I had visited in Europe and our own history, which isn’t as overtly documented. Māori history is primarily oral, passed down through generations.

As I visited historic sites in Northland, where some of our most famous chiefs lived and died, it created a deep impact on me. I started exploring my family and cultural history more thoroughly. Back when I was a teenager, I had an interest in tattoos. I collected pictures that I liked, but I soon realized that traditional tattoos carry significant stories about the history and culture of the people.

In the last couple of months, I have gotten a few culturally significant tattoos that reflect our history, specifically that of my mum's iwi, Ngāti Whātua. It is the largest iwi in New Zealand, is known for its prominent chiefs, who are some of the most well-known figures in Māori history. Growing up, we learned a bit about this in school, but it was minimal. Delving into early New Zealand history, especially when Europeans arrived, has been captivating for me. People might assume I'm fully European by appearance, but there is so much more to my identity tied to my Māori heritage.

The tattoos I recently got were inspired by traditional Tā Moko styles. I found a studio in K Road where several artists work. After seeking a recommendation for someone skilled in Māori traditional tattooing, I got connected with one artist. Interestingly, he turned out to be from the same village in Northland where my mother's family comes from, Te Ārai.

He asked me what I wanted to express through my tattoos. I learned that every traditional Māori tattoo is unique and tells a story related to one's family history and personal values. I expressed my desire for them to represent those important cultural aspects of my heritage. After showing him some examples I liked from the internet, he recognized the style and created a beautiful design by hand.

One of the tattoos he designed for me is a depiction of a manaia, a spiritual guardian that runs down my arm, symbolizing strength, protection, and a connection to ancestral roots. He shared the meanings behind various symbols, revealing their significance—far beyond mere decoration. They are akin to hieroglyphs that convey specific ideas.

He crafted my tattoo in the traditional Ngāti Whātua style, meaning those familiar with this art can identify our tribal affiliation from the design’s lines. For example, the manaia typically features the head of a bird, the body of a human, and the tail of a fish. On my tattoo, the tail represents resilience and strength, while symbols resembling two pregnant women facing each other signify connection to family.

One symbol is for whānau (family), represented by the koru fern, illustrating the relationship between generations. Together, these symbols signify a connection between the living, the dead, and everything that exists in the universe. Another important symbol in my tattoo is the Mangopare, depicting the hammerhead shark—representing strength and resilience, often associated with warriors, reflecting the legacy of our esteemed ancestors who were both warriors and chiefs."

See more at ilanwittenberg.com/
(c) Ilan Wittenberg

Life has a way of trying to fit us into labels: pretty, smart, desirable, intense, dumb, strong, weak… But we don’t just...
15/03/2025

Life has a way of trying to fit us into labels: pretty, smart, desirable, intense, dumb, strong, weak… But we don’t just get assigned these adjectives—we also inherit the expectations that come with them. Who we should be, how we should act, and even who we should become, shaped by where we were born, our parents, our education, our skin tone, our body shape, and so much more.

Being too much or not enough threw me under the bus twice in my life. The first time was at 19, the second at 27. The details don’t really matter, but looking back, I see a pattern between those two chapters—what I like to call The Parallel World of Rochi Magali.

At 19, I felt a deep sense of not achieving enough. My parents had just divorced, and once they were back on their feet, I allowed myself to grieve. But I didn’t realize I was grieving—I had spent three years making sure everyone else was okay, completely ignoring how I felt. The weight of it all led me to gain 60 kg in a year, turn to substances, and sink into extreme sadness. That’s when my journey in New Zealand began—a fresh start that slowly helped me shift my perspective.

Since moving to New Zealand, my eating habits, daily routine, and mindset had changed. Yet, once again, I found myself immersed in an ocean of uncertainty. I didn’t know if I was making the right or wrong decisions. I didn’t know why I felt so exhausted. I didn’t know where I was going or how to get there.

The second episode, which I call Tiredness, was the first—or maybe the second—time I had reached full burnout, and I wasn’t even 30 years old. I had just finished university, COVID had hit the world, and I had achieved one of my biggest life goals. But once again, I found myself alone. After three years of relentless hard work, there was no one to celebrate with, no one to lean on. This time, I didn’t gain 60 kg—I lost a lot of it instead.

I tried opening up to others, but no one seemed to truly understand where I was coming from. And then, it happened—I asked myself the question:

"What’s the point of all of this if, in the end, we’re all going to die?"

Now, you might think I was having self-harm thoughts—but that wasn’t the case. Life just felt absurd, meaningless, or at least it did for the next couple of months.

When I shared this thought with my psychologist, she suggested I see a psychiatrist. So, I did. I started taking antidepressants—just a small dose, but still, medication. I wasn’t happy about it, so I made a decision: if I was going to take medication, I was also going to work on myself.

I joined the gym. I committed to running a half marathon. I started studying astrology. I reorganized my daily routine. And, for the first time in 27 years, I started putting myself first.

Anxiety, depression, exhaustion, body dysmorphia, insomnia—you name it. Those were just symptoms of the real issue: I had spent my entire life putting myself last.

Validation often comes from the outside, and that’s okay. But the real reassurance—the kind that keeps you grounded—has to come from within. Putting yourself first isn’t just about words; it’s about action, discipline, direction, spirituality, purpose, and movement.

(c) Ilan Wittenberg

"My name is Brett, and I’ll be 60 in November. The tattoo on my chest is a stingray; it looks after me. ‘AOTEAROA’ is wh...
12/03/2025

"My name is Brett, and I’ll be 60 in November. The tattoo on my chest is a stingray; it looks after me. ‘AOTEAROA’ is where I am from. The greenstone pendant is from my youngest son, Jess; he gave it to me years ago.

I should have been nicer when I was younger. I wasn’t a nice person. I lived my life for me and not for anyone else. It’s a greedy way of living. Because of that, karma came and kicked my ass a few times. But I've changed now, and I don't wish any harm on any man. Yeah, basically. What you put out is what you get back, bro. If you put evil out there, you get evil back. You put good things out, you get good things back. It took me a long time to learn that lesson, but I've learned it.

I was an angry mo********er. Always in trouble. Always angry. I stole, sold drugs, fu**ed, hung around with gangsters, and didn't give a f**k about anybody but me. And then I had my sons, and it slowly started to change it in me. Me and the wife broke up, and I got the hell bashing and almost died. Yeah. And I had to go do something. Otherwise, they were going to lock me back up again because I had to leave my home. And then the medical people told me, “Well, you got a choice. You either go out, find something to do, or we’re going to lock you back up again.”

But through carving, it changed my heart. I found this place where I could stay and learn carving. Every time I went out, I got into trouble or got arrested, so I didn’t go out. When I started with the carving, I learned that there is another way. Three years. Improved my lifestyle. Changed my attitude. Don't get me wrong, I still have attitude. But yeah, not like it used to be. Yeah."

See more at: ilanwittenberg.com/
© Ilan Wittenberg

I am Misha-Joy. I've experienced a lot of life in my 34 years here. I've been a thousand different woman, yet always mys...
08/03/2025

I am Misha-Joy. I've experienced a lot of life in my 34 years here. I've been a thousand different woman, yet always myself. What's shaped me most is the people I've met and walked alongside. Every day, I sit with people from all walks of life. I hear stories you can not imagine. I feel gut-wrenching pain to the point of physical sickness. I soar above darkness in moments of joy and release. I cry while seeing into your soul. I do this all in relation to the person sitting across from me in my therapy room. I sit. I listen. I feel. I digest. I touch. I hold. I lean in. I intuit. But sometimes it is not enough. Sometimes, the suffering of the world touches the crevices and cracks within... and the black tar feels irrevocable. Sometimes, my own pain reverberates and shatters in the mirror of the other.

I sit with those who have killed. Those who have r***d. I sit with those who have been beaten, betrayed, and denied. I sit with children who have never known innocence or safety. I sit with the greatest teachers of all. Your neighbor, your father, your aunt, your friend, your teacher. Those who have thrown away life and soul. Those who wish to find answers. Those who want to just be. I sit with you. I sit with me. I carry the doer and the done to. And I am both. As are you.

How can I love this person better? While also loving myself ? What can I offer to this moment? How can I not crumble under the weight of it all?

I sit. I hold. I grapple. I may not have answers. People forget us therapists are vulnerable, too. I have my own stories that would yield you speechless. Suffering unimaginable and unspoken. I may not have the magic wand you seek. But I do have my presence. My awareness. And my ability to... Feel. It. All. And still take the next breathe. I am unafraid to be fully alive. And I will be alive with you, as you are me and I am you.
(c) Ilan Wittenberg
See more at www.ilanwittenberg.com

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